Episode 85 - Nothing but Crumbs and Complaints

Mike runs his mouth with Olivia about a night out that turned into a full people-watching experience, starting with someone complaining about a single breadcrumb and then asking to move tables because it was “too cold.” That moment kicks off a conversation about restaurant behavior, entitlement, and how attitudes in more affluent areas can shape the way people treat others in service. From there, they break down their own experiences working in the industry, the difference between being served and treating someone like a servant, and how that mindset develops over time. They also flip the perspective with a brutal brunch experience to talk about when bad service actually deserves the frustration, yet how both sides can feed into the same cycle. It’s part rant, part real talk, and a reminder that a little awareness goes a long way.

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Transcript

Crumb Complaint At A New Bar

Mike 0:10

Alright, so what did you think about the restaurant that we went to on Saturday?

Olivia 0:14

Well, that was definitely uh an adventure of people watching, I'll tell you that much.

Mike 0:19

Holy God. Do you remember the person who was sitting next to us, not even 15 minutes into being there?

Olivia 0:26

Oh my god, can we change seats? There's a fucking crumb. Not even that, just announcing it to her husband, like, don't sit there. It's dirty. Like there was like it wasn't even anything.

Mike 0:40

You have a stroke all the way through that.

Olivia 0:49

But no, it was just a crumb on the seat, and she's like, it's dirty.

Mike 0:54

Bitch, I will lick it off your seat and make it clean.

Olivia 0:57

Not even. Just take your hand and just bap, bap, bap.

Mike 1:00

Just take your sleeve and wipe it. I don't understand why people are just so like, I don't know, maybe it's a Greenwich thing. Maybe it's like the pompousness of like who they are because oh, I have money. I want everything to be pristine.

Olivia 1:13

It's not even that. It's just more so of just like you're in a restaurant that's serving people. You have to deal with the scum of the earth, the most pompous people.

Mike 1:21

Oh my god, I know. And the fact that not even like 10 minutes after they sit down, once they clean the seat, they wanted to move because they were seated by the door and she was too cold. Meanwhile, you were wearing a full open back shirt, and we were at the table right next to them, and we had no problem.

Olivia 1:40

Yeah, full, full open from like what from shoulder blades to like lower middle back in the rain, right by the door. And she's like, Oh my god, I can't believe they seated us by the door. It's cold. Girl, I could be getting free drinks if I wasn't sitting down right now.

Mike 1:58

But it's also like they were of they're a new restaurant, they're not even on Google, and they had full parties already because this the restaurant was already established because they had a sister restaurant, they just had the sister restaurant right across the street.

Olivia 2:12

And they had a soft open like not even like two weeks ago at this point.

Mike 2:16

Yeah, I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that we went to the sister restaurant and then we were like, oh, let's go out for drinks afterwards because let's extend the night. Yeah. And we were walking by and we were like, oh, that's a new spot. Let's check it out.

Olivia 2:27

But we caught the site of the bar, and I was like, that looks really pretty. Because I was thinking about, oh, why don't we go somewhere else? That kind of had like a same bar vibe, but it was like, it looks nice. Oh no, just to complain about, oh, it's cold by the door, and your first instinct isn't looking at the 20-something year old, whole back out. Full, everyone can see every freckle on this girl's back, and you think you're cold, just or order a hot cocktail, order a hot toddy, ask for some soup. Like you could because they were filling up for dinner. Yeah, all the tables were real, because they even pushed our reservation earlier, yeah. So they could actually have a seat for us. And you're gonna can complain and get the waiter to move your seat, right? But didn't even inform the manager, so he was confused on why all the napkins have been moved, but no one's sitting there anymore.

Mike 3:28

Yeah, and that then makes the waiter look bad because now it looks like that he's actually not doing part of his job, which is cleaning up after people leave.

Olivia 3:36

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I saw that the manager was confused. Like he was like looking for a purse because it was a couple. So it's like, I don't see a purse, I don't see a jacket, I see nothing. And then a woman's now standing there trying to figure out why she is being sat at a table that hasn't been cleaned. But it was even worse because it was clean. But the I'm sorry, to complain about your seat being cold and crumbs, and the first thing you do is touch the napkin on the plate. Are you kidding? You committed. I'm sorry, the second your hand touches a napkin in cutlery, you're committed to the seat.

Mike 4:13

But then can we talk about the fact that that was the napkin that they used to wipe off the crumb? And then they were gonna use that napkin for their face. Like you somebody's whole ass was in that seat, and they're wiping it down, and then that's the napkin that you're gonna commit to. Didn't ask for a new napkin, ask for a new chair because of a crumb.

Olivia 4:35

But then actually do something way worse. The second, the second a napkin has been touched anywhere, request a new one. That's okay. That's like picking a napkin off the floor, being like, huh, smells good enough, and like still using it.

Mike 4:50

Three-day old underwear sniff test. That's fine.

Olivia 4:54

Oh lord. Turn it inside out, front, back, and then commando on the seventh day. But it just boggled me to complain about all these things. And it's like, are you even gonna be happy with your meal?

Mike 5:08

Yeah, because now they've already set the precedent that this place is already shit, even though they didn't even have anything started.

Olivia 5:14

They walked in wanting a problem. Yeah. Those are people who want a problem.

Mike 5:19

And then you know that they're not gonna tip well either, just based on that one thing. Because now they're just like, oh, they're not attentive, the place isn't clean, this place was a nightmare, but they have no regard for what's actually going on behind the scenes. Like, you can tell when people don't work in service or have never worked in service.

Why Some Guests Act Entitled

Olivia 5:36

I think instead of being drafted in the military and everyone having to do that, I think people need to work service. Yeah, I agree. Hundred percent.

Mike 5:47

Honestly, either way, you're underpaid in dealing with people who think they're in charge.

Olivia 5:52

I always serve my tipping process when I dine in 20-25%.

Mike 5:56

Yeah.

Olivia 5:56

I'm already at like the highest thing. You have to spit in my face for me to tip low. You really do. Because you're working hard, you're overworked, underappreciated.

Mike 6:07

And it's so funny because when I was gonna go into bartending full-time because it was the only thing I felt like I could get, one of the things that I liked about bartending when I did it as a side job was because you were always dealing with people, and people are some of the most interesting things. That's what my grandfather always said to me, owning his own bar. But then I worked in bartending as a full-time job, and you realize just how draining people can be.

Speaker 1 6:34

Oh yeah.

Mike 6:34

Like I don't know what it is about people. It's it's I think it's just the fact that you're now being waited on, so then now people think that you're at their beck and call. And I think it's just worse in affluent areas because they already have this idea that it's all about me in general.

Olivia 6:53

They bring their nonsense into the room.

Mike 6:55

Yes.

Olivia 6:56

That's 100% what it is. They just bring their they bring their bullshit. That's what it they're like, hmm, I'm getting waited on, and they treat you not like a server, because a server is like, I get paid to do that. They treat you like a servant. Yes. Like you elected to be in my presence. Whereas like you just walked through my door and sat at a dirty table and went, where are my menus? Sarah, you walked into my establishment. Okay, you can wait. I will get you your breadsticks in a minute.

Mike 7:28

I also think one of the main problems, though, is when people sit down at a restaurant, it's almost like they feel like they're the only people in the restaurant. Even though they see the whole thing is full, they're the only ones that matter.

Affluence Versus Gratitude Growing Up

Olivia 7:45

Well, you don't understand. They're the main character. Like you you don't get it. It's their world. It's like driving sometimes, too, where some people are just staring at a green light, they're not moving. Yes. And it's like, what's happening up there, sunshine? Any idea? Any brain cells working today? Same concept. You're in their world. They're like the pop star, and you have to abide to their rules.

Mike 8:10

I don't know, but you grew up in the hood, right? So do you feel that maybe it's just this area that it's just the people here in this more affluent area just have this sort of I don't know, this sort of attitude of I'm better than you, or do you think that it doesn't really matter what the location is and that's people in general?

Olivia 8:35

I think it matters on where you are. Like, I wouldn't say it was the hood hood, but like there were bad sides of my town, and you know, you don't want to be caught in certain avenues at a certain hour of the day.

Mike 8:48

Yeah, I mean I live in Greenwich, so our quote unquote bad area, like our ghetto looks like fucking condos.

Olivia 8:55

Yeah, and that's kind of where I was living, and that was considered nice where I was. So already very different worlds. But like in my in my town, yeah, I would say like we were more grateful, like that you were existing, like you had a paycheck to come home and like use that to buy groceries. Like that was very much like I put food on the on the table. And if you went out, it's like we saved up for it. It's a special occasion. So you treat dining as like this huge event, like it's a whole event of the day. Like you get ready, you get this, it's like a whole you dress up, you play like Pretty Princess to go out for like dinner, which is only like a two-hour long experience. But it's like the actual event is like four to five hours.

Participation Trophies And Learned Attitudes

Mike 9:45

Yeah, I don't know. I just feel like I grew up in this area, so I'm also very accustomed to it, but I don't think I fully appreciated it, or not appreciated it, but I don't think I really fully noticed it until once I moved and I lived in a different state where I realized people in this area, it's what can you do for me rather than what can I do for you? Like it's way more of a self-centered, and maybe that just comes with the wealth because it's this idea of like I have prestige. Like I remember when I was working at the dive, and there was this kid who came in and she was underage, and she was like, Can I come in? I was like, No, you're underage. And she goes, Do you know who I am? Do you know who my father is? I'm like, What's your last name? She gives me the last name, I'm like, I don't recognize it, so you can't be that important. And that was like the that was like the first time where somebody had actually told her no. So I I don't know. I I feel like it's just this thing of first of all, I think a lot of parents in this area just let their kids do and say or have whatever they want because they can afford it. Oh, yeah, and daddy's money can get them out of any sort of trouble. And it's weird because these kids don't really have to worry about anything, but the parents who come from like new money, they actually did have to work for something and did have to worry about stuff and maybe did struggle a little bit harder, but they're not instilling that in their own children. And I think that's where this like pretentiousness of like the new newer generation is kind of coming from.

Olivia 11:25

Well, yeah, like you can already see it now with like how kids are like, oh, we we hand kids like a trophy for showing up. Yeah. So they definitely already have like we've set up, we've set up the entire the ending of my generation and the next one for failure.

Mike 11:41

You say that as if we're not part of the same generation. I grew up with participation trophies and stuff too.

Olivia 11:46

But I think it was different for Gen Z. Like, we're close, but we're also not that close. Like, we got I understand what you're saying because we got like the little stars, like you did good today. These people are getting like, oh my god, you just got you got up. It doesn't matter you got up three hours late. You got up today. I missed the bus. My parents be like, I guess you're walking. Or I'm dri or it's like they're driving me and they're like, I can't believe you're doing this. And I wouldn't, you know, the kids that would come in late and they have the Dunkin' Donuts. I came up late, upset because it was silent car ride. I got told I caused problems at 6 30 in the morning.

Mike 12:32

I mean, if you're gonna show up late, go the whole nine. Like, if I'm gonna show up for late to work, I'm gonna show up with the car. I'm already late. I may as well like make it worth my time. If I'm gonna get reamed out, let me enjoy the reaming.

Olivia 12:43

Yeah, no, it was more so of like this is such an inconvenience in my life right now. Yeah. But coming from a household where one parent was really working, so I messed up their own.

Mike 12:55

Yeah, you threw off their mojo.

Olivia 12:57

Because one person would leave really early in the morning, the second person would be like later. The later person isn't gonna do it. That's so out of their time. I'm I'm leaving with, you know, the blue-collar dad, like going to a job site, being like, miss the bus again, huh? So how many times would you miss the bus? Middle school was a rough year.

Mike 13:19

Year.

Olivia 13:20

It felt like one long year. But it was the COVID before COVID. It truly was. But it's it we set up these kids, like we put kids' behavior such on pedestals, right? But like, look at their it's learned behavior. So look at their parents. They put themselves on that pedestal too, because they have money. They go with the idea of, well, I worked so hard to get here, I don't need to like care about anyone else. I did the like social ladder climb. They come at these like waiters and servers or any retail pro anyone who has to deal with customer service is dealing with that, like, I worked this hard. It's time for you, I pay you to do this job.

Mike 14:04

Yeah, yeah. Especially the ones who didn't acquire that money. But especially for those who acquired the money like through their parents, like say the parents were really well off because of how hard they worked, and then they just kind of overtook it. Yeah. So they've just always just known that this is how it is. I mean, I'm not saying that they don't work hard to sustain it.

Olivia 14:25

No, 100%.

Mike 14:27

But at the same point, it's they were just given that.

Olivia 14:30

Yeah.

Mike 14:31

Like they already had the stepping stones to be successful. So I don't think people really have the appreciation for what they have because they've already been given it.

Olivia 14:41

Yeah. Like let's put it this way, right? Like, I'm I didn't come from like the most richest neighborhood school background. We couldn't afford a lot of new things, like a lot of stuff was used or set like hand-me-down stuff. But uh, it was still a huge thing that we would have dinner together as a family. It was always expected, right? And you would just be thankful for the meal that was on your plate. Like, I have had buttered egg noodles and hot dogs for dinner. That like that was my childhood. That was like a legit dinner. The like um bread and pork chops that I do from my mom that grew up on that too. Meatloaf was a constant Wednesday night dinner, but it was the appreciation of my parents worked all day, they came home, they took care of me, they still cooked a meal. These people were going to college too. Like they were doing a lot. I don't know how they did it, truly, with how everything was happening in the early 2000s. But like, I really appreciate where I come from. But the one thing they instilled in me was be grateful where you are and be aware that other people don't have the accomplishments or opportunities as you. I was given a lot of the same opportunities as many of my classmates, but I received, you know, maybe more appreciation or stuff, but not because they didn't get the same opportunities. It's because I worked for it.

Mike 16:19

But even though we come from different backgrounds in the sense of like where we lived, granted, I lived in a more affluent area like my whole life. I grew up in this town. But I also remember like my mom making meatloaf or my dad and mom like kind of making the same meals throughout the week. But my parents also had three kids all at once.

Olivia 16:42

Yeah.

Mike 16:43

Like, I don't want to say money was super tight, but I think my parents had to figure out a budget.

Olivia 16:49

Yeah, that makes sense.

Mike 16:51

Um so, but it was also instilled in us where it was you work hard to get where you want to be. My problem is life just keeps throwing me to the shitter. I don't know. I don't know too many people who get laid off twice within six months.

Olivia 17:06

Yeah, that's a that's a crazy statistic to pull.

Mike 17:08

But if I didn't bartend, I never would have met you.

Olivia 17:10

I know.

Mike 17:11

But I think I can say this for both of us, where we understand how hard our parents worked for them to get to where they are to instill the things that they instilled in us to also have that same work ethic.

Olivia 17:23

Yeah. And yet somehow we don't take it out on people who are in service. And like, I think that's like the bigger like thing about this is like both of our both of our families worked really hard. They raised us, they instilled like a a strong work ethic in us and appreciate the little things and appreciate where you've come from and where you are now. Like, you know, don't take everything for granted. And now here we are, like in our later adolescence, and it's very much Adolescence, bitch.

Mike 17:57

I'm 30. What are you talking about? I am a full ass adult.

Olivia 18:02

But can't relate. There's still some to I got some, I got a couple of years till then, but what I'm trying to say is like we appreciate everything that they've done and stuff, but yet we don't take it out on people.

Mike 18:18

Like, I don't we don't take it out on people who we feel are below us.

Olivia 18:21

Yeah, I don't the only person below me is an eight-pound cat because she's that stubby.

Mike 18:28

Yeah, like I just do not understand the people who sit at a at a table and when they want the check right away, they snap their fingers. Like, just do the check symbol. That's a universal sign. It's a polite way of saying, hey, I'm ready to leave.

Olivia 18:43

The snapping and the whistling and the a loud announcement of check. Oh my god. Like, and I was waiting.

When Service Is Bad At Brunch

Mike 18:55

Oh, you mean like that place that we went to on Sunday for?

Olivia 18:57

Yes, like the place we went to on brunch where we could have literally dined in Dash. That was bad though.

Mike 19:02

That was the the food was so good, but the service was awful.

Olivia 19:06

That's that's like the pro that's like what's really up getting me upset about it is the food and the coffee, great. The fact that I had to sit there and wait for my check, and then I get my check, and I have my card. I was like, oh, let me get a card reader. No, just take just it's it's right here. The bill and the card. I don't care how much it is, just take my money. Oh, let me get a card reader and walks right by the house to stand.

Mike 19:36

But then he like went over to seat somebody at the table next to us, looked at the saw the bill that he handed us with the card on it, and then just still disappeared.

Olivia 19:47

And then grabbed a table that had a card reader, looked around and walked away. The fact that we had to get someone else to take my card to pay for our receipt, like that that really bothered me. And you know what's worse is like I knew that I also couldn't tip badly because everyone else is probably pooling, but because this one guy ruined an experience, it's like how badly did that affect other tips? I don't want to tip low, but I but it was like I felt so much if I was gonna I felt like I was gonna slap myself in the face to tip high. This guy sat us down, he gave us menus, and he took our coffee drinks and food, put the food down, and that was it. There was no, would you like another coffee? Would you like hot sauce? I didn't even get asked if I wanted ketchup or hot sauce, which is something you're supposed to ask at breakfast. Not just hand me salt and pepper. Do you need anything else? Yeah. Cause some people do like ketchup with their eggs.

Mike 20:57

Yeah, I mean, but the fact that that guy also gave us the salt and pepper, saw that we were low on the coffee, and then still didn't ask. Like, I don't know, maybe it's because I've worked in service and uh working at a bar is much different than working at a coffee shop.

Olivia 21:10

So but it's the same concept.

Mike 21:13

Yeah, I mean I was always trained when I was working bar that you're always scanning your bar, you're always looking for empty drinks because drinks are your moneymaker. So you always want to make sure that somebody has a filled drink because they're just padding the the check at that point, too. Which also means that you're padding your tip, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, the more money that they're spending, the more that that 20% increases. Yep. So that's the whole thought process behind it too. Plus, I always wanted more turnaround, but if somebody's gonna sit there and drink, I'll have that person padding up a check. But I always hated it just when somebody came to the bar just for freaking coffee and like dessert. Like go to the go to the restaurant for that.

Coffee Shop Lessons On Table Turnover

Olivia 21:54

Yeah. No, and I get that because it's like, why are you just here for a drink and like now sitting down for 40? Minutes we're gonna have one drink and a dessert. Yeah. Like I get that. You're like milking it. Yeah. But I'll say this, right? Because not many, I'm gonna say it because I haven't seen in this area, right? It's I mean, it's probably a new more of a New York thing where I was. The coffee shop I worked at, we didn't wait on tables, right? You would come up to the register, you order what you want there, and we would call you up when your drink was ready, andor food was ready.

Speaker 1 22:26

Yeah.

Olivia 22:26

All that stuff. But the one thing we had was a bus bin. So once everyone was done eating, they put all their dishes in the bus bin. But when we would do a round, we would go around with a rag, a sanitizer rag, and wipe down the tables and clean up the crumbs and clean the dirty plates people would leave on the table and walk into the business or whatever. But as I'm walking around with the busbin, if someone like was still kind of munching or whatever, I'd be like, hey, is there anything I can clear for you? I would ask, like, do you would you like me to take your plate? Do you need a box from the kitchen for your food? Do you need a to-go cup? Would you like another drink? It's like you're still sitting, there's still stuff around. I'm not gonna force you out of here, but what can I do to maybe either have you pay more money here, or are you like seeing that there's a long line and you don't want to come up and get like a to-go cup or a to-go box?

Mike 23:26

But also, are you just taking up a seat just because you're hanging out and I want to flip that table because that's more customary?

Olivia 23:31

And that was kind of like our nice way of kind of like, hey, you've been here for like 45 minutes, you finished your crepe, I have a line out the door of people who want to dine in.

Speaker 1 23:44

Yeah.

Olivia 23:46

Either take the lavender honey matcha latte somewhere or order another one. Please, and maybe tip me this time.

Mike 23:54

So it does go both ways though. Like you do have bad service, and also you don't really know what's going on at the restaurant as a whole. Maybe it was busier than we thought it was, maybe he was new. We have no idea. But it doesn't mean that you still treat somebody who's giving you subpar service like an asshole.

Olivia 24:13

Yeah. Everyone's entitled to good days, and everyone's entitled to bad days. For all we know, like maybe a person called like we've seen it with me. Someone calls out, another person switch, it's a new person. You just kind of hope and pray they can pull it through together.

Treat The Janitor Like The CEO

Mike 24:29

Yeah, I mean, to quote Tom Hardy, he said that he treats the janitor the same way that you treat the CEO. One, because you never know who that person could possibly be one day. But two, it's just a matter of just respecting the people around you, regardless of who they are. A person is still a person. Yeah. It doesn't matter if because you think you're such high prestige that that person is just below you. At the end of the day, we're all in the same area. Like, I'm just working for it. Yeah, you're just enjoying it. But we all do things to get to where we want to be.

Olivia 25:02

No one has an original experience in life. No, no one really does. Everyone who's sitting there, like getting served, have done some level of service to others. Like if you're not a CEO, you're constantly answering to a boss, you're constantly having to deliver, you know, goals and sales and all that stuff. Everyone who sits at a desk does customer service. Yeah. And everyone who does customer service, you know, kind of tells the customer kind of what they can and can't have if they're out of stuff. Like they make decisions. We're all experiencing the same thing. It's just one of us wore an apron today, and the other person gets to wear, you know, a nice little like uh dress and slacks and enjoy it.

Mike 25:53

Yeah, everybody's experiencing the same thing. It's just a different environment. Yep. All right, and on that note, I think that just about does it. Thanks for joining me again, Olivia.

Speaker 1 26:03

Of course.

Mike 26:04

All right, thanks for listening, everybody, and I'll catch you on the next one.