The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast—"Literally Nothing, But Everything."
It’s a mix of personal stories, life lessons, and hot takes, all told like you're on the phone with your most unfiltered friend.
No experts. No advice. Just vibes, opinions, and faith-based curiosity.
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 73 - Nothing but Doubles and Drama
Mike runs his mouth about restaurant chaos, bartending doubles, and the fine line between being the “fun bartender” and tanking everyone’s tips. He shares a Father’s Day work saga, a vodka Sprite that tasted like jet fuel, and a moment that proved people actually do notice when you make a good drink. Also featuring commentary on bar dynamics, dating while working nights, and why one server might be crying in the walk-in.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
Alright, what's up everybody? I know I'm sorry. I know it's been a couple of weeks. I'm really sorry that I haven't been on this thing in a while. Don't worry, I'm still here. I didn't fall off. I've just been juggling a lot. I got asked to work a double on Father's Day More on that later.
Mike:I've been trying to deal with rugby practice, kicking my ass. My job schedule's been a little crazy and, yeah, I'm also seeing someone new now, so I'm just adjusting to that too. The whole bartend until midnight date somebody with a normal schedule, life balance Love that for me. So, yeah, the whole bartend until midnight date somebody with a normal schedule, life balance Love that for me. So yeah, I've just been busy, but you know what it's been about a month. Hey, kevin, thanks for checking up on me, dude, where you been, and then shows how much you actually care. I will never let that go. Also, I'll be real.
Mike:The pod's been on the back burner a bit, not because I've stopped caring, but because everything else has been on fire. I'm trying to do it all Show up for work, show up for my relationship, show up for myself and still somehow show up here with jokes and stories. So if you're still listening, thank you. Now let me do what I do. So, anyways, I get asked to work brunch on Father's Day because apparently it was supposed to be busy. So they asked me the night before hey, would you mind me being the good player that I am? I was like, yeah, sure I can do that, thinking I'm going to be out of there in the afternoon. I'll still be able to hang out with my dad. All is well in the world. Spoiler alert. It wasn't. It was just like regular Sunday brunch, with a slightly higher chance of getting stiff by someone in cargo shorts.
Mike:But then, plot twist, it's a male co-worker's birthday. He's married but not a dad, so no kids, just a regular grown-ass man out here living with a joint bank account in zero dependence. And suddenly the other co-workers are all like, oh my god, it's his birthday, he shouldn't have to work a double on his birthday. And they're all rallying behind this like it's a make a wish shift. Next thing. I know it's well, you know, if so-and-so works the floor, mike is here so he can man the bar for tonight, and that way he gets to go home and celebrate his birthday.
Mike:And I'm standing there like what? First of all. I'm just here being a good team player and I came early because I was asked I wasn't scheduled to do a double. But second of all, how in the fuck did his birthday become a group project that now I gotta pay for, like it was Father's Day? What about the actual dads scheduled to do a double on Father's Day? You don't think that they'd rather be home with their kids to go and celebrate a day that is dedicated to them, instead of watching this man dip out early so he can go blow out candles? And look, I got nothing against this guy. He's a really cool dude. I really like working with him. He's a great guy.
Mike:But birthdays are not a national holiday. We all have one. You're not that fucking special. You're 30 years old, not 13. You don't get to skip out on work because you age the digit. Welcome to being an adult. But whatever I was like you know what? Fine, give me that money, I'll take the shift, fuck it.
Mike:And karma worked out in my favor because dinner ended up being way busier than brunch anyway, so I made more, and then I also got to watch some chaos unfold. And chaos did unfold because while I'm doing my thing during brunch, I noticed something going down behind the bar one of the bartenders that I'm scheduled with and I'm doing my thing during brunch. I notice something going down behind the bar One of the bartenders that I'm scheduled with and I'm not naming names. I would never do that, but they just keep pouring doubles off the rip. No request, no modifier, no warning, just boom, heavy, pour into a restaurant cocktail, like she's trying to win somebody's custody battle with bourbon, and I wouldn't have said anything.
Mike:But I tasted one of the drinks that she made, Actually two of them. I was trying to do a quality check, right, see what the guest is getting, make sure it's not off, because she took a step out for a second. So I had to jump in and the waitress was like oh, which is which? Because she made a vodka soda and a vodka Sprite. So only one way to know is you got to taste, test it and I swear to God I couldn't tell which was which. I nearly gagged, not because I hate vodka, I mean, I've never loved it but I could stomach it. But this, this was just jet fuel, like airplane grade level ethanol served over ice, and I had to guess which drink was which until she came back and confirmed it. Somehow I got it right, but only by sheer luck, because they both just tasted like regret and battery acid.
Mike:And yo just to clarify for the people in the back, I'm still not drinking. Just to clarify for the people in the back, I'm still not drinking. I don't consider me drinking, just taste testing. The drinks that I made because I'm not sitting here posted up with a whiskey on the rocks, like it's 2019. I'm literally just like dipping a straw into a cocktail just to kind of coat my tongue, like it's a scope, just to make sure that it doesn't taste like hot garbage.
Mike:And I do that kind of I wouldn't say all the time, but especially with things that I don't know about, like all these new bottles, liquors, chartreuse Amaro's wines I've never heard of. Half of it sounds like a spell from Harry Potter and the other half just tastes like regret. So, yeah, I lie through my teeth when a manager's like you all know what the wine tastes like, right? And then there's me having no fucking clue, absolutely, totally. Never been more sure of anything in my life, because I'm not going out of my way to actually like drink a drink, like I'm just gonna taste test something that I have no idea what it's gonna taste like. Just so I know that I'm not actually putting out something terrible out into the void. But listen, I'm actually not against doubles. If someone asks for a double and they're paying for it, that's fine, that's great. Absolutely More power to you. Know, that guy likes a strong drink, or that lady likes a strong drink, but pouring them unprompted at a restaurant? Absolutely not.
Mike:This isn't a dive bar. This isn't a club. This isn't Kyle's basement party where everyone's drinking out of red solo cups that smell like regret and pickle juice, and it's definitely not Becky's pregame at her house, where the goal is to get as drunk as possible before going out just to go and save some money. This is a restaurant where people are trying to enjoy a cocktail, not get blacked out before the waiter comes back and says oh, what would you like for your entree? Although, with how some of you people order, it truly amazes me that some of you don't have a few pops before you go out, because, my god, I'm just gonna come out and say it when the staff messes up on an order, it's not because of us, it's because of you. You fucking people don't know what you want or how to order. It's right there on the menu, just it. The customer isn't always right. The staff just has to appease the customer, just so you don't leave us a truly shitty tip because of your fuck up. But that's for another day. But anyways, this is a place with steak specials, with ambience that's family and kid friendly, where karen will order a lemon drop and send it back because it's too lemony.
Mike:Ugh, we cannot be casually free-pouring doubles, like it's an open bar at a wedding. You think you're being cool but all you're doing is setting a time bomb in motion. You pour someone three ounces of tequila on drink one and by drink two they're crying into their truffle fries or trying to slow dance in front of the host stand. And let's talk tips, because that's the worst part they don't tip more for stronger drinks. No one's ever been like wow, that bartender over served me and I blacked out by 6pm. Here's 35%. No, they leave a basic tip and then you get yelled at because they stood up too fast and face planted into their baby shower table. And if you're sitting there thinking well, what makes you think you know what you're talking about? Fair question, but let me give you a little story.
Mike:So my girlfriend works at a coffee shop Totally separate vibe. One day this guy comes in and starts chatting with her and he apparently said that he went to this place last night and the bartender there made him some of the best drinks he's had in a while. And she's like, wait, my boyfriend works there, is that the guy with the tattoos? And he was like yeah, that's him. And she's like, oh, yeah, that's my boyfriend. Dude was floored the first time at her shop total small world moment. But he literally said he'd definitely be coming back to the restaurant, not because I poured him doubles, but because he said I made his drinks well, that's it Just well made drinks with balance, taste and actual attention to detail. So yeah, people notice and you don't need to pour a double to get a good tip or leave an impression. Sometimes just knowing what you're doing is enough. However, now the inventory is also shot Because you don't think that management doesn't notice when the Tito's bottle looks like it just got mugged.
Mike:We have poor accounts for a reason. If you're giving away doubles every time someone's getting written up, and it's usually not the person who thought Tito's was short for titties out, and on top of that, it's low-key stealing from the restaurant. You're giving away liquor that isn't yours without charging for it. That's not being the fun bartender. That's being the reason costs are off and everyone's getting side-eyed on their next staff meeting. And don't forget liability. Someone gets too drunk, causes a scene, gets into an accident, whatever. Now it's not just a hangover, it's a court case. Nobody wants to be the bartender who over-served, the dude who ended up on the local news doing a jig on a cop car. But let me give you the real reason as to why this drives me nuts. And it's not just the chaos or the potential chaos that might unfold, it's the team impact.
Mike:When bartenders pool tips with servers, which we do at a lot of restaurants, giving someone a heavy pour doesn't help anybody, because if the drink is too strong, guess what, they won't order another one. They'll sip it slow, they'll nurse it and that's pretty much it. The table's drink sales are done and then the servers check average tanks and suddenly we're all losing out, because when we pulled all of our tips together, all of the checks at the end of the night matter. So if I can do a better job of giving the servers a good drink where somebody is going to order a couple of rounds that builds their bill, which ultimately gives me a better tip out from them. So now you're not just overpouring, you're underperforming, you're messing with the system that keeps everyone paid.
Mike:When it comes to a restaurant, it's both quality and quantity, but if the drink is too strong, they're going to be a one and done. People aren't out here thinking that they're going to get jungle juice every time they order a drink. They're here to have a few rounds and leave with their dignity and their Amex statement under $200. And especially when you're pumping out drinks for the waiters and waitresses, we don't see who's getting that drink. It could be a 21-year-old on their hopefully, but realistically not first legal drink. Or it could be someone's 80 year old grandma trying to treat herself to a pinot and a flatbread. Either way, chances are they can't handle a pour that strong.
Mike:And if I'm making drinks for the restaurant floor, I'm also trying to think about who's drinking those drinks, because if someone is stumbling to their car after a cocktail I made, I'm not trying to be the reason for it by pouring a double. You might be thinking that you're hooking up the guests, but you're not. You're just shortening their tab and everyone else's paycheck. You're not a hero, you're the reason the server's crying in the walk-in, especially if that server's gonna taste test what you're pouring, because, my god, anyways, if you're still rocking with me after all that I appreciate you.
Mike:I know this one's a shorter episode, but it's all I could muster up this week. New episodes drop when life lets me breathe a little bit, but I promise I'm not disappearing. If you've got thoughts, stories or anything you want to hear me rant about, next, send it in. Actually, you know what any other bartenders out there am. I totally in the wrong for thinking the way that I'm thinking, where you don't just automatically pour a double, thinking that that person's gonna like you for pouring them a double. Like how many people out there actually enjoy having a double just poured for them off the bat? I don't know many, but alright, anyways, send in your emails to lnbemedia@ gmail. com. Make sure you follow the podcast @thelnbepodcast on Instagram and TikTok. Make sure you comment and subscribe as well. That helps me a lot too, and I will catch you on the next round.
