Episode 71 - Nothing but Being Wrong About Her

Mike runs his mouth about the girl he once swiped left on—only to end up dating her after a coworker’s girls’ night out, a spontaneous shift, and a whole string of wild coincidences. From misjudging her on Bumble to realizing the timing might’ve been divine, this one’s all about fate, dating apps, and why real-life connections still hit harder than a swipe ever could.

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Chapters

• 0:00 When You're Finally Ready for Love
• 1:34 Meeting at the Restaurant
• 4:20 The Dating App Near-Miss
• 7:45 The Problem with Dating Apps
• 9:16 The Surprising Connection
• 12:17 Divine Timing and Life Lessons

Transcript

Mike: 0:10

Alright, so you ever have the ultimate it'll happen when you're ready for it moment? Because how many bad dates or poor excuses of relationships have we all had, screaming what the actual fuck was that? Thinking that that person was the right one for you until it crashed and left you thinking that you were the problem? But, weirdly, in my life things are seeming to look up, which is weird because, as of a few months ago, shit was not going according to plan. And how many times have I asked if I'm actually making the right choices and if this is the path that I'm meant to take? But I'm gonna get into this story and you tell me if it doesn't answer the question of it'll happen when you're ready.

Mike: 0:59

I don't know if Field of Dreams was just about building a baseball field for a bunch of ghosts now, because if you build it, they will come.. I'm also starting to think that was referring to the building blocks in your own life that will allow the right things to come into it. So I'm in training at the restaurant and this is now what? Just about a month ago now? And I wasn't even supposed to be on the floor that night I was just shadowing food service. The plan was get in, learn about the food, and bounce. But fate, or rather my coworker with a subtle matchmaking ambition, had other plans. She worked and then said that she was going to come back in for a "girls' night with her friends because her friend isn't too sure about the guy that she's seeing and he's giving her mixed signals. And even though her friend and this guy had plans for the next day, her friend still wasn't too sure about the guy. So they went out to kind of, I guess, talk it out or whatever, and naturally I'm like cool, have fun, I'm out.

Mike: 1:58

After training I got a ghost of a podcast that I got to record, plus also, let's be real, usually I want to say like what? 60% of the time when "girl girls night, it's always the ugly friend who comes along. I doubted that I would be missing much, but I end up staying much later than I anticipated Because after my shift I was just kind of hanging out with my co-workers and right when I started thinking about dipping, my co-worker walks in with their friend and bro, I'm fucking floored. This chick had a gorgeous smile, bright eyes, total curveball. Was not expecting that and I'm sitting there like damn, maybe I will stick around, because I got a thing where I refuse to get involved with co-workers but I never said their friends were off limits, right, because this chick was just cute as hell. So we started talking and I asked her how she knows my co-worker, what she does, and she drops oh, I used to be a semi-pro rock climber, but that ended after I got injured. But I managed at a rock climbing gym. Once that closed, I started working at a cafe, which is where I am now"

Mike: 3:12

And I'm like well, that explains the body, because, JESUS, I'm trying to be chill... b ut internally again I'm just like DAMN. So I started asking about her other interests and we go back and forth. We end up vibing so well that my co-worker even was like "all right, wow, now I feel like I'm the one who's third wheel in here and it's like, yeah, no offense, fucking go to the bathroom or something, because now you're not only guarding the view, but I'm actually interested in your friend. Now fuck that other dude that she has plans with. But I'm also not trying to be too pushy, because what if she's still interested in this guy that she already has plans with? But that don't mean that she can't be at least thinking about me while she's out with this guy, right?

Mike: 3:59

So the next shift that I'm on with my co-worker, I'm like, "yo, how did your friend's date go the other night? "And she's like yeah, no, she's definitely not interested. I'm like hell, no, she wasn. Did your friend's date go the other night? And she's like yeah, no, she's def not interested? I'm like hell, no, she wasn't, if I got the vibe on me right. So I'm like all right, well, how about you give her my number? But she doesn't even have to, because who strolls in, not even like two hours later for her friend from the other night? And you know what she does? She leaves a receipt with her number on it before she leaves, with a note that says give to Mike. And you know what? Yeah, she should.

Mike: 4:31

I can't help the fact that I'm just adorable, but I will be honest. Bro, I haven't chased anything that fast since the last time I did a bad tequila shot. I haven't drank in two years now almost, but I still remember how Cuervo goes down and it ain't great. Fucking shuddering after that shot like you do when you hear a bad ex's name like, ugh. But then we start texting. Texting turns into calls, calls turn into dates and I'm starting to realize like, wow, I'm actually super into this chick. But also how sneaky my co-worker was, because when my co-worker's friend told her that she was on the fence with this guy that she had her plans with, she was like you know what? You should come in to meet the new guy the restaurant hired- yours truly- because I think you guys would hit it off. And hell the fuck, yeah, we did. But here's where it gets wild.

Mike: 5:30

It turns out as of this past week, I discovered that we almost matched on Bumble two years ago and you guys are all probably thinking how the hell do you almost match on Bumble? You either match or you don't match. Somebody didn't swipe right. Don't get ahead of me. Because she told me that she actually remembers seeing me on Bumble and swiped right. And I'm like what? So she showed me some of her photos that she used on her dating profile. I'm like, oh shit, I actually swiped left, but in my defense back then she had purple hair.

Mike: 6:10

I saw the, she, they in the bio and the distance was low-key, kind of far, because she lives closer to the restaurant that I work at and I made assumptions. As cute as she was, I was thinking leftist, liberal, we're gonna clash. I was like, yeah, like she probably hates gas cars, has crystals in her bra and would 1,000% ask me what time I was born, and I wasn't just gonna date somebody that I knew we would freaking clash right off the bat. And I'm gonna own it. I totally admit that I was wrong. It turns out that she just put the they on there because she was managing a male-dominated rock climbing gym and she wanted women and non-binary folks to feel welcome. It wasn't about the whole gender ideology or politics at all. She doesn't even give a damn about politics. It wasn't her entire personality, it was just something that she did for others. She's actually one of the most grounded, level-headed people I've ever met. So now I'm thinking well, I was kind of an asshole for making that assumption.

Mike: 7:16

But this also highlights another issue with dating apps. I feel like they often reduce people to a few photos and a brief bio, leading us to make snap judgments based on limited information. These fucking platforms encourage quick decisions which can cause us to overlook potential connections with people who might not look "our types" from a quick glance. These apps reduce complex individuals to a few photos and a brief bio, leading us to make snap judgments based on limited information. It's so easy to forget that behind each profile is a real person with depth and nuance that a swipe can't capture. So yeah, did I learn the lesson that you can't really judge a book by its cover 100%? But does this also, low-key, prove that it's better to meet someone in an organic sense than over a fucking screen 1000%? So you know what? Fuck dating apps and thank God for bars and restaurants If you just got the balls to have a conversation with someone. Fuck dating apps and thank God for bars and restaurants If you just got the balls to have a conversation with someone. You think Gen X or generations before met people through apps. No, they met through friends, coworkers or at social places like bars. As a society, we have become so immersed with hiding behind a fucking screen that you can't even say hi to someone in a bar. But yet you'll go on platforms like gaming services or Omegle and talk to strangers. But, god forbid, an actual human being is in front of you and it's like you forget how to human. Oh, and the kicker.

Mike: 9:08

We worked in Stamford at the same time. That's why she ended up swiping right on me, because she was working in the same area as me and she saw my profile. The last company that laid me off was a three-minute walk to a place that I used to go and get coffee at every day, and at that coffee shop some of those people also worked at the gym that she managed and her co-worker remembered me because I always tipped well. I mean, I was going to that coffee shop like every day. One, because the coffee was good, two, because it got me out of an office that I absolutely couldn't stand being in. And three, I also got to become kind of friendly with some of the people working there and I was apparently known as the good tip guy and after this dude's shift at the coffee place that I would go to, he would then run over to the gym to go work there and mentioned that there wdas this dude named Mike who always came in and tips really well, because at that that time I was also bartending on the side. So I knew how much a tip meant and I think it's kind of also a thing where people in service try to help out other people in service.

Mike: 10:13

So, also unbeknownst to me. I had already made a great impression on this chick well before I even met her. But the girl who I'm now dating's gym that she managed from where I worked, was like 10 minutes away from each other. So it was just weird how there are all these little coincidences and distance approximations where we never actually ended up meeting until my first week at the restaurant. And she actually told me the other day you know, if you just swiped right two years ago, it would have saved me so much heartache after all the crazy dudes that I've dated like I was actually locked in from when you said hello and I told her I'm like well, you know what, maybe we weren't supposed to meet yet. Maybe we needed to deal with our own dumb asses first, because, given where I was at the time and how I was feeling after all my bad dating app dates or poor excuses of relationships over the years, I was also still working out my own bullshit and trying to figure out what I wanted when it came to a relationship. So, yeah, maybe I wasn't supposed to swipe right two years ago. Maybe she had to deal with her own mess and I also had to try to clean up mine. And maybe God looked at both of us and said Nah, not yet. You two aren't really done with your dumbass era.

Mike: 11:37

But now I got a new job the same week that I met her. I wasn't even supposed to be working that night. My coworker just happened to bring her in. All these little weird overlaps, Stamford where I worked, the coffee shop, mutual connections. They didn't hit back then, but they do now. And now I'm just glad that she walked into that bar and I didn't end up swiping away and was smart enough to actually say hello.

Mike: 12:11

And that's the thing about divine timing. God listens. He just doesn't always work on your clock. You pray and you want the answer by Tuesday, but God's like, bro, Tuesday? You're not even ready. You'll fumble this so fast it's not even funny. So he holds off. And when he does move, when he starts putting people or places in your path, that's when you realize it wasn't silence, it was a setup, because sometimes the answer to your prayers walk in when you weren't even supposed to be working.

Mike: 12:39

Sorry, maybe this one was more of a real talk than punchlines, but if you're still here, then maybe you get it. Sometimes this show is about jokes. Sometimes it's just me trying to make sense of the mess. Either way, I appreciate you for being along for the ride. If this episode hit you or you've got your own, we almost didn't meet but the universe said, nah, it's time story. Shoot me a message at lnbemedia@ gmail. com, or drop a comment. Seriously, comments boost the show way more than people realize, even if it's just a thought, a fire emoji or just Mike's kind of unwell, but we like him anyway. Yeah, still, fuck you, Kevin. You think I forgot about you, but hey, you know what? I can't really be mad because it still kind of helps. So also thank you, Kevin. But yeah, share the episode, follow the pod on instagram and tiktok @theln be podcast and leave a review if you've got time. With that, I hope you all have a fantastic week and we'll catch up next time.