Episode 70 - Nothing but Customer Service and Mild Rage

Mike runs his mouth about the chaos of restaurant bartending, from misordered fish sandwiches to wine snobs and beer guy brain fog. This week’s episode dives into the differences between dive bars and dine-in service, adjusting to a new system without losing your edge, and why sometimes growth feels more like a slow crawl than a glow-up.

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Chapters

• 0:10 Welcome to LNBE Podcast
• 1:15 The Baked Sole Misunderstanding
• 4:15 Dive Bar vs Restaurant Culture
• 7:40 Adjusting My Service Style
• 10:55 Finding Meaning in the Chaos
• 12:53 Call to Action and Sign-off

Transcript

Mike: 0:10

All right. So just in case anyone's new, though I highly doubt it, because this podcast is growing like a tree in the shade. Welcome to the LNBE podcast, where LNBE stands for literally nothing but everything and I'm your host. Mike Rispoli stands for literally nothing but everything and I'm your host, Mike Rispoli. I've said it before that I hate doing intros because they're cringy and make me want to stab myself in the eye with a fork and, honestly, that still holds true. But it's been a while, so I figured I'd reintroduce myself like a semi-functioning adult. Hopefully you find me entertaining. If not, go fuck yourself. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Please stay. I need the followers. But seriously, if you like the pod, share it, comment, tell your friends, because that's the only way that this thing is going to grow, unless the algorithm randomly decides to bless me for spiraling about life while sounding kind of funny. Unless the algorithm randomly decides to bless me for spiraling about life while sounding kind of funny.

Mike: 1:15

Oh, and speaking of spiraling, my new job has been going great. As you know, I recently started bartending at a restaurant and I'm still kind of in training and I thought I was picking things up. But nothing humbles you like a customer with vague communication. It just makes you realize that the ball got dropped like Mark Andrews on a two point conversion. So this guy comes in and he orders food and he asks how does the soul come? I explained to him that it depends. The sandwich comes fried, but the entree comes baked and he goes I'll have the baked one. So I ring in the baked entree you want the baked sole? You got it, no problem, anything for you, sir. Baked sole coming right up. Chef's kiss. The food comes out and he hits me with this isn't what I ordered. I'm like'm like, huh, you said you wanted the baked soul. He goes yeah, but I wanted the baked soul on the sandwich. Oh, you did. Cool, how about I solely give you a knuckle sandwich instead? Huh.

Mike: 2:19

And at that moment management steps in. They see the situation and chalks it up to me, not knowing the menu. So I just eat it. I'm like all right, I'm sorry, I'll do better, because I feel like I'm still too new to start pushing back and being like well, here's what he said. So the next day a different manager comes over, clearly heard about the incident and says you really need to study the menu. I'm like yeah, I know, I'm sorry, it won't happen again. Because, also in my head, I've already taken that mental note ask more follow-up questions and get some better clarity. But then she hits me with you went to college, you know how to study, so study the menu. Oh, you think I studied in college? That's so fucking cute.

Mike: 3:08

But now I'm kind of pissed, not because I can't take feedback, but because clearly no one bothered to actually explain what happened. But again, pick your battles. I mean, I'm not going to be that guy who argues over a fish sandwich his third week in, and honestly she's not totally wrong. If I had just said hey, just to clarify, you want the baked sole on the sandwich instead of the fried, we probably could have avoided this whole thing. So, moral of the story whether it's a customer, a boss, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whatever it is, communication is key, especially when seafood is involved, and that's kind of been the running thing lately.

Mike: 3:55

I'm not just learning a new job, I'm learning how to adjust and how to operate without feeling like I'm constantly messing up or losing confidence. Like I know I'm not stupid. But being in a new system makes you kind of question stuff that used to be second nature, and I hate feeling slower, like I'm playing catch up. But I also know I can't show up to this job with a full die-bark, chaos, energy. So I'm trying to figure out how to keep that edge without cutting myself with it, you know. But here's what I've come to realize over the past four weeks.

Mike: 4:25

This isn't a bar. It's a restaurant that happens to have a bar in it, the bar that I worked before, which I'm also working at now again on one of my off days. At the restaurant that is a bar bar, you come in, you get a Jack and Coke and Maybe a Coors Banquet if you're feeling classy, and if you threw up in the urinal, I'd just hand you a towel and say, well, at least it wasn't on the bar and hey, at least you made it to the right spot, unlike the Uber I'm about to order you, huh, huh. It's the kind of place where nobody asks for lemon twists or gluten-free flatbread. They ask me to join in on a game of darts, to throw the game on and for a seat that isn't sticky that day now at the restaurant it's not. Let me get a whiskey, neat and stare into the void. God forbid whatever else you got in your system to have that. Look, it's hi. Yeah, we'd like to split the filet mignon wrap and the chopped salad.

Mike: 5:27

And do you know where your chardonnay comes from? No joke, that was a real question. I was just standing there staring at these wine bottles like I'm taking a test I didn't study for which, by the way, was also literally happening. I got two of our house chardonnays in my hands, scanning these labels like, um, it looks like they both come from California. And she hits me with oh, that just won't do what else you got? And in my head I'm like lady, I don't have time for this episode of sommeliers. So I just hit her with, on the back of the menus, the full wine list. Let me know if anything jumps out at you, although it is funny, because in some moments I do get to utilize my dive bar attitude just a little bit.

Mike: 6:12

I had one guy go what do you have for bottled beer? I'm like that depends, you want alcoholic or non-alcoholic. And he's like well, I came for a drink. Whoa, all right, somebody had a tough day at the office. So I said well, this is a great spot for one, but for alcoholic beer, for you, we have corona and coors light. Do you have miller light. Sir, we have corona and coors light. You know how bud light.

Mike: 6:40

Now I'm getting annoyed and in my head I'm thinking, bro, did you just od on stupid pills? I don't see a aid. Bro probably drives the same speed limit as his IQ. So I said I'm sorry, we only have Coors Light and Corona for bottles and the closest thing that we have to the two beers that you just mentioned, I would recommend the Coors Light. So he's like all right, I'll take a Coors Light. Oh, there we go. Was that that fucking difficult? Oh, there we go. Was that that fucking difficult? Whoever that dude is married to, I'm sorry for you, but also, is he always that dumb, or was he just trying a little extra that day?

Mike: 7:19

And, honestly, moments like that, or where my dive bar instincts still kind of peak out, even if I can't say what I'm thinking, I'm definitely thinking it because, trust me, in that moment I would have roasted that guy like the chicken we have on the menu. But I think that's also an example of how I learned to keep my edge without screwing myself in the process. However, arguably corporate life taught me that too. Sometimes you really got to keep your inside thoughts as inside, because the last person you want to see in any company is HR. But it's weird how I'm retraining my dive bar muscles into restaurant style because I'm just used to fast pace get your drink, give me your card, start a tab. I'll see you on the next round next.

Mike: 8:06

But now this place I got to learn how to be a little bit slower. It's like a dive bar is a Dodge Challenger and this place is more of like a Cadillac. Like one night, for example, I saw people done with their food and I immediately asked if they were all set and took their plates. But then the other bartender, ron, kind of took me aside and said hey, for future reference, give people a minute or two before you clear it. We don't want customers to feel rushed. It wasn't in a mean way, it was just a side note for me. Like, hey, this is how we do things here. And I'm like, oh damn, okay, that's a new learning curve, because in my head, appetizers done, cool, cool, clear it. You got your food great, eat, finish up and get the fuck out.

Mike: 8:53

I want turnover. Turnover means more people sitting and more people sitting means more tips. But here it's more like let people lounge, let them relax and hope that great customer service leads to a better tip, but I'm also like 20% off the next bill is more than the extra two bucks those people are going to tack on. Like, okay, I understand, this is a restaurant, but here's my thing, unless it's a dead night and I've got three people there. Yeah, absolutely. Have dessert, have coffee, hang out with me for a bit. I'm more than willing to talk about your dog's ACL injury, but if I've got a full bar and another row of people waiting, don't order dessert, don't order coffee. Come for what you came for. Have a drink or two, eat and get the fuck out of my bar. I want those next asses in seats. You want to lounge and have dessert and coffee. Make a reservation, sit at a fucking table, tip your waiter the extra five At the bar. My money comes from volume, and if I gotta spend an additional 45 seconds making you a cappuccino which now I know how to do that's time I'm wasting not checking on another person or seeing empty glasses or whatever. But that's not how this place runs. So this is also something I need to get used to, with how this bar operates and while I'm learning to shift gears and adjust to the style here.

Mike: 10:29

I'm also trying to figure out my flow behind the bar. Like we've got all of our well stuff on the top shelf. Visually, sure it looks great Symmetry, clean lines, nice display. It's kind of like the idea of shopping with your eyes. Could you put the price of your bottles at eye level so customers see them? It's kind of like grocery store psychology. You don't just put the expensive stuff on the bottom shelf. But for me at the restaurant I'm reaching for Tito's Kettle and Grey Goose constantly if I'm slammed. And now I gotta climb up like I'm scaling Mount Smirnoff to refill my well. Meanwhile someone's waving their empty glass like they're trapped in the ocean. I don't need a curated shelf layout, I need speed. I need those bottles in reach because I use them like every five seconds. And yeah, maybe that's just another adjustment.

Mike: 11:24

But I'm starting to think this job is just one big metaphor for life right now, because I'm trying to keep up, find my rhythm and work inside systems that weren't built for speed, even though I gotta haul ass if I'm slammed to bring plates and glasses into the kitchen to try to keep the bar clean. But truthfully, I took this job for a few reasons One, because I wanted to bartend. Two, because it literally landed in my lap the last week I was unemployed. And three, if Nashville is still a possibility for me. This gives me the kind of experience those bars out there are actually looking for, but also, honestly, it seriously does feel like God finally threw me a bone and said here, this one's for you, here's a new path. What are you going to take from it?

Mike: 12:16

So yeah, maybe this job isn't just a paycheck, maybe it's a lesson in disguise, because every new environment forces you to grow in ways that you didn't necessarily ask for but you probably need. And maybe this whole thing is about adapting without losing who I am. I'm still figuring that part out, but I think that's the point. But even if it's slower, even if it's messy, I'm still showing up. One round, one shift, one awkward bottle grab at a time. And all right, guys, that's going to do it for this episode. I know this one's a little shorter than usual again, but that's all I got for this week.

Mike: 12:59

Sometimes it's not just about filling time, but sometimes I just like to bitch about what I got going on, and that's what I did. But if you're still listening, congrats, you made it to the part where I begged for your help, cue the sad violin. But seriously, I could use a hand here With this new gig. I've got limited time to play Instagram Influencer right now, so here's the deal. I need you yes, you, you. That's my best uncle sam impression to be my unofficial promo team.

Mike: 13:30

If you enjoyed the show, or even if you didn't, but have art, please share the pod with your friends, your enemies, your ex, whoever toss a rating and a review up there, five stars, if you're feeling generous, and hit that follow or subscribe button so you don't miss any future episodes. Share it, rate it, spread the word like it's a gossip at brunch, and don't forget to follow the pod on Insta and TikTok @thelnbep odcast or email me at lnbemedia@ gmail. com. All right, I'm done groveling. Thanks for listening and for doing whatever you can to help. I hope all of you have a great week and we'll catch up next time you.