Episode 66 - Nothing but What Happens Next?

Mike runs his mouth about life feeling like a riptide, the death of Pope Francis, rugby injuries, and why fear can either freeze you or forge you. It's a shorter episode, but packed with real talk about stepping up when you don't feel ready. Also featuring bad Shakespeare takes, cursed Men's Wearhouse suits, and a reminder to just commit.

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Transcript

Weekly Update and Pope Francis

Mike 0:10

all right . So I just got back from rugby practice and I am exhausted . Plus , I had some things going on this week with some interviews and stuff , so I didn't really have as much time to prep as I would have liked . But look at me still trying to make some moves to try and control some of the chaos that's in my life , yet still showing up for the poor souls who continue to listen to my bullshit every week . Thank you for doing that , but I am sorry about this one . It's probably going to run a little bit shorter and I'll try and make it up to you guys at some point .

Mike 0:44

Okay , so anyways , this past week the Pope died . I tried on a suit that smelled like it had already been pulled from his casket and I realized my life isn't looping like some amusement park ride you can just get off of . It's more like a riptide . It pulls you under when you least expect it and you gotta know how to swim out . But what kind of Catholic would I be if I didn't mention the passing of Pope Francis ? Rest in peace to him .

Mike 1:12

I mean , popes aren't like presidents in the sense that we can kind of just forget who they are right away , considering it's not that fast of a turnaround time . I mean , in my lifetime alone there's only been three John Paul II , the breakfast one , benedict and now Francis . And even though he wasn't Italian , that dude had some serious Frankie energy . Like Pope Francis was cool man Strutting around in a Black Sabbath t-shirt as a teen , probably bumping the devil's music , maybe puffing a little of the devil's lettuce . And I say that because in a faith that always claims to be inclusive , they turn around and gate keeps the club . But pope frankie was the guy who actually stood up and went . You know what ? Maybe it's not a horrible thing for people to be gay and the cardinals around him were probably like bro , are you high Clutching at their rosaries at the thought . But even though he didn't change the Catholic doctrine , pope Francis was easily the most compassionate , the most with the times Pope I think that we've had . Because he actually said if someone is gay and is searching for the lord and has goodwill , who am I to judge ? And that's a powerful line , not just because the pope proved he was trying to be an ally at a time when people needed one , by a figure who historically praised love for all , yet was the head of a system who dogged on a specific group of people , but because when you've been living in fear fear of judgment , fear of failing , fear of not being enough hearing somebody in power say you're still seen or you're still loved , it shifts something . And maybe that's where I'm at right now trying to break out of the loops that I've built around myself , trying to stop feeding my fears and start showing up , not just for God , but for myself and for the people around me , because maybe God's not punishing me , maybe he's just waiting on me to finally show up

Fear Disguised as Logic

Mike 3:16

. We've all had those moments where fear dressed up like logic , like it's not the right time . I'm probably not good enough for that . Better not risk . Risk it , I'll just play it safe and I'll give you a personal example .

Mike 3:30

I remember back in high school there was this weird thing in my school that if you got placed in advanced social studies , you automatically had to be in honors english class too , which made zero sense . Like just because I know history doesn't mean I'm about to be the next shakes . And maybe you've been there . Someone sees potential in you that you can't even see yet . Like my teacher wanted to push me , but all I could think was like dude , I can't even qualify for a fourth grade spelling . Bee . You want me writing high level essays ? My vocab only extends to four letter words . Like the fuck is this ? But sometimes we say no to things not because we can't do them , but because we've convinced ourselves that we can't . That's fear talking . And eventually I said screw it , and I took the classes . And yeah , you know what ? I held my own .

Mike 4:22

I still found ways to cut corners , like most of us did Spark notes , stealing classroom discussion takes and passing them off as if they were my own , tossing in random quotes from pages that we barely skimmed , like yeah , I think I can make that work . Anyone who thinks that I sat there and actually read romeo and juliet you're out of your mind . Every couple days , when I was in that class , the teacher would hit us with one of those pop quizzes that were fill in the blank style , like if we're reading shakespeare or something right . He would just write out these violet the lights have violent blank . And I remember sitting there thinking , dude , I wouldn't even pass this if I did read the damn book . So I'm sitting there like these violent delights have violent , I don't know orgasms . The fuck do I know I didn't pass , but at least I gotta laugh .

Mike 5:13

But looking back , how often do we operate like that now , still playing the same game , still just trying to pass , not to grow , not to show up fully , just to get by ? And lately I've been asking what if we stopped aiming for bare minimum survival and actually tried to our own potential ? But , given that I'm at the end of my unemployment , these past six months have given me a lot of time to think and I'm wondering where the hesitation to move on to the next phase actually comes from in any area of my life . Like where does this hesitation come from ? Why do we stall when it's time to level up ? Why do we wait until we're out of time before we act like it matters ? It's kind of like when mom tells you to go take the chicken out of the freezer and even though she's gone all day , you wait until she pulls

Breaking Out of Loops

Mike 6:00

into the driveway running in underwater , like why is it still frozen ? I don't know . I took it out when you told me to it's a little wet , so it must have thawed somewhat . Right , we act like effort in the final five seconds counts for the full game , and I used to tell myself it was because I wasn't ready , but now I think it's because I don't believe that I deserve the next phase yet , like , somehow , the version of me right now hadn't earned it . So , instead of moving forward , I looped Same habits , same excuses , same prayers , if I'm being honest , and they were all based on selfishness , like , oh god , help me with this , help me with that .

Mike 6:41

But then I discovered the song Prodigy by Idola I think that's how you pronounce it , and I heard this line , so you think I really deserve it , even though I'm not the man I used to be . Well , I found a new sense of purpose , and it's in something that you can't see . When I show up at the gates of hell , I'm going to walk up to the fallen star and take his horns . First of all , shakespeare couldn't have written anything like that . I'll tell you that right now . But hearing those lyrics , I'm like damn , that's not someone who's scared of what's next . That's someone walking straight into the fire , like I know who I am , and even if I'm not the finished product , I'm showing up anyways . That's what faith looks like to me right now , too . It's not about perfection , it's not about confidence . It's about courage , just showing up in the mess , in the fog , the unknown , because maybe God isn't waiting for me to be fearless , maybe he's just waiting for me to stop hiding .

Mike 7:39

Because also in that song , prodigy , the pre-chorus kind of hits like a spiritual gut punch . The pre-chorus goes you want to be somebody else , you want to run from all this hell . You ain't got no spine . Let's be honest , how many of us have felt that , wanting to escape the version of ourselves that we're stuck in , thinking maybe if we could just be somebody else , this part of life just wouldn't feel so damn hard ? But then there's another verse that says you want to blame all your pain on things you can't even explain . You're so weak and dying out . That hit me hard , because how often do we do that ? We sit in the mess and just point fingers at everything but ourselves , at the past , at circumstances , at timing . We blame the fog instead of trying to walk through it .

Mike 8:19

But that line doesn't just call you out . I think it calls you up because it's saying you can either stay stuck and justify it or you can show up anyway , even if you're still healing and you're just trying to figure it out . And it ties into this idea that maybe God will help you find the path , but he's not going to walk it for you . And I'll be honest , I'm guilty of waiting for that , of asking for help with every little thing , even the mundane , even when it doesn't come to God , just with the people in my life . But to me that lyric is saying you want to be someone , stop asking and start acting . You don't get better by wishing you grow , walking through it , even if it hurts . But you can't keep asking for change while choosing the same cycle .

Mike 9:00

If there's anything

Rugby and Commitment Issues

Mike 9:01

that should be stuck in a cycle , it's those fucking clothes . At men's warehouse I got fitted for the two weddings I got this summer . Because the suit they gave me Holy shit , it smelled like it had already gone through its own eulogy Deadass . It had that Seinfeld BO episode energy Legit . I thought that funk just stuck on me . It was just like like this is home now . But don't be like that suit .

Mike 9:27

Don't let fear cling to you so long it becomes your default setting , because you're not laundry . You don't belong in the same loop forever . You gotta step out , swim out , show up . Even if you're literally emerging in a funk , you just show up anyways . And while we're being honest , there's always going to be something you fear that you need to face . Show up , even if you're literally emerging in a funk , you just show up anyways . And while we're being honest , there's always going to be something you fear that you need to face . For me , that's unemployment , not being successful or falling behind . I just told you that I had a fitting for two weddings that I'm in this summer , because I have one for my sister and I have another one for my friend . Meanwhile , I'm just forever alone . So you don't think that I feel like I'm getting left behind while everyone else around me is suiting up for their next chapter . I talked about that a couple weeks ago . Feel free to go check that episode out . But while we're talking about fear , let's talk rugby , because I also just got back from it .

Mike 10:19

I realized that I've been playing scared Not all the time , but enough to notice and I know that I talked about this a couple weeks ago too . But the idea remains I'll go into a hit and I'll pull up last second , not because I can't do it , but because there's a part of me that's still holding back . I'm still playing with one foot out the door , and I didn't realize it until recently . I'm not afraid of getting hurt . I'm afraid of committing to the hit and it not working . Like what if I go full force and still get leveled ? Or what if I give it everything I've got and it still isn't enough ? But isn't that the same mindset that keeps us stuck in everything else relationships , jobs , passions you don't think I question every fucking episode that I do of this thing .

Mike 11:04

We don't always fear the fall . We fear what it'll mean about us if we fall after giving it everything . So we hesitate and we second guess . We live life like we're bracing for impact instead of creating it . And you know what that mindset ended up doing ? Because I was thinking about what I said in that episode where I talked about this , even though in the moment I made it my goal to try and make contact , I was still playing scared , and playing scared is ultimately what fucked up my arm . I attempted to commit , but I didn't fully do it . And you're probably thinking , oh , you're just a typical meathead making a sports analogy about life . But if it's what this episode has taught us , is that if you're going to do something , fucking actually commit to doing it without the fear .

Mike 11:51

And it's so funny because in some areas of my life , like losing weight and getting tattooed , I go all in . I didn't say I'm going to get in shape . I said I'm going to get into the best possible shape that I can . I didn't just get a tattoo my first one , I got one that covered a whole surface area . My whole thought process was go big or go home . If I'm going to do it , I'm going to fucking do it . So externally , that's how I express myself , but internally I'm just in a cycle of doubt . And why can't I go big ?

Mike 12:23

And it brings me back to the song prodigy , because they also said I can't imagine what it's like to always call it quits , passing judgment like you ain't a fucking straight up bitch . My bravado knows no bounds , it's why they call me a king . But you can barely talk . What makes you think you can sing ? It's not about playing it safe . It's about following through even when you don't think you're sing . It's not about playing it safe . It's about following through even when you don't think you're capable of something .

Mike 12:45

Committing to the hit , not because you know you'll win , but because you know you can take it and maybe even come out stronger

Showing Mercy to Ourselves

Mike 12:52

on the other side . Which brings me back to Pope Francis . That dude had mercy at the centerpiece of his papacy . It wasn't about control or fear , it was about mercy . And maybe that's the real lesson in all of this . From suits to spiritual loops , to song lyrics , to sideline hits , we've all just got to start showing mercy on ourselves . We can't keep score on the amount of times that we looped into the same cycle . We just got to think about the times that we had the guts to step out of the cycle . I feel like a lot of us , including myself , always think about times where we failed , but we don't acknowledge the times where we actually did commit . So you know what ? Fuck it . Go walk up to that fallen star and take his horns . Just don't do it at men's warehouse . That's tension , that's eternal .

Mike 13:40

So all right , this one is a little bit shorter than usual . I mean between interviews , the wedding suit fittings and trying not to die during rugby practice time just got away from me this week , but I didn't want to skip , so I figured I'd still show up . Because , honestly , if I did try to stretch this episode out just to hit a word count , then I'd be like that kid in class bullshit in the last paragraph of their essay with . In conclusion , I conclude that my conclusion is conclusive and nobody wants that . So , even though it's not really a full-length episode , I'll try to make it up to you . I'll do maybe a longer one next week , probably by oversharing , like usual . But if you liked this episode , please share it with a friend , shoot me a follow , like and comment to help boost this thing to the top . And don't forget to check out The LNBE Podcast on instagram and tiktok , or write in your comments and thoughts to lnbemedia@ gmail . com . Okay , everybody , thanks for listening and we will catch up next week .