The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast—"Literally Nothing, But Everything."
It’s a mix of personal stories, life lessons, and hot takes, all told like you're on the phone with your most unfiltered friend.
No experts. No advice. Just vibes, opinions, and faith-based curiosity.
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 65 - Nothing but a Rocky Road
Mike runs his mouth in this Easter episode on literally nothing but faith, evolution, and everything in between—from church pew reflections to browser history guilt. He questions whether science is disproving God or just decoding Him, dives into moral growth, and explains why sometimes vanilla just doesn’t cut it.
If Jesus can rise again, maybe so can we… even if it’s from guilt, confusion, or dumb habits we’re not quite ready to confess.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
All right, it's Good Friday, everybody, which means hopefully at least some of us are thinking about sacrifice, sin and confession. Yeah, this episode might be a little religion heavy, but don't worry, I'm going to still crack some jokes and fuck around. We'll make it through this together, I promise, says every divorced couple before the papers come out. But seriously, stay with me on this. It's just that, with easter coming up and reconciliation monday passing, it just got me thinking, which, I be honest, I didn't partake in, bro.
Mike:I went to confession one time and I think I messed it up. I can't remember if it was before my first communion or my confirmation. It was one of the ones with the sea sacraments. But I go in, I do my thing. The priest says, okay, now go outside and do this amount of prayers, and I was like, okay, my thing. The priest says, okay, now go outside and do this amount of prayers. And I was like, okay, but just like nowadays, I was like, eh, I don't want to be here any longer than I need to be, so I'll just go do it later. And then later just never came. So story of my life. But by the time that I remembered, I couldn't remember how many reps I had to do so I was just like, eh, I'm sure the big guy knows I'm sorry.
Mike:Anyways, this week I was just having all these thoughts and, given what we talked about last week with the direwolves thing, it just kind of boiled down to is science trying to disprove God or is science just trying to figure out how he actually did his thing? Like, maybe evolution isn't anti-God, maybe it was just a blueprint beneath the miracles? Like, okay, humans evolved biologically, but as apes, and they had three main goals to hunt, eat, breed and repeat. In other words, kill, gorge and Until you were physically incapable of doing one of the three. But trust me, you know what? I ain't living long if I can't eat or fuck either, I can't indulge in some of the most basic human pleasures. Take me out. But then you also got people nowadays who are just like oh, I know how to hunt, oh, do you? No, you don't't get out there with nothing but your fists and a spear and see how well you do give respect to your ancestors. You gun toe and think you're better than me. Hooligans, fuck you.
Mike:But I started thinking that, as we started to evolve biologically, that it would only make sense that we would also evolve morally, considering the fact that the thing that separates humans from other animal species is the fact that we don't just act on instinct, we also act on the idea of thought. And I say this as if I'm the most evolved person. I eat cereal out the box like it's a bag of chips and then I wonder why I got microplastics in my balls, like what makes me qualified to think like this. But I don't know. It's holy week and when I was at church I just let my mind wander because the priest homily went long and I got bored. So I started asking myself about the rights and wrongs behind some of our moral or natural biological actions and what that would mean to a higher power.
Mike:Because it's just interesting to me how monotheism came after polytheistic religions like Roman and Greek mythology. Maybe it wasn't correction, maybe that also came from moral evolution, like, did monotheism evolve through a more moral, thoughtful lens? Or is it just based on cultural pivots causing this divine shift? And you know, I know I'm a moron, so I definitely know that I'm not the only person who's ever thought of this question. And I did some googling and it turns out that there is a book out there called the History of God, by this woman named Karen Armstrong, who actually was a former nun. I haven't read the book, but from what I was able to Google is she basically argues that monotheism wasn't just a religious upgrade, but it was a moral one. And there was this shift in accountability, like it pretty much just came down to the idea that, instead of someone like me praying to the god of sex and the god of wisdom to try and spread the blame as to why I suck at having both, now I just pray to one god that's looking down at me saying you know what, mike, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.
Mike:But think about it. Almost every ancient culture was polytheistic the Greeks, romans, egyptians, chinese, japanese, indigenous tribes, aztecs, incans, mayans they all believed in multiple gods that were tied to nature, war, love, fertility, whatever the fuck, which is kind of wild, especially considering how central Egypt is in the Old Testament. So does this mean that the entire Exodus story was set in a deeply polytheistic empire and that was the backdrop for the idea of one god introducing morality and spiritual discipline and you know what? That is a loaded ass question and, just like my life, I'm not going to pretend that I have the answer for it. But you know what?
Mike:Maybe monotheism wasn't about dismissing all of those gods. Maybe it was more about shifting the focus from external sources to one unified source, like a more moral compass, a relationship, something a little bit more internal. But okay, if God made us this way, then why am I also supposed to feel bad for acting like a human, Especially if I'm biologically derived from an ape-like animal, like okay, besides the fact that I personally feel that you're a general first ballot hall of fame asshole if you were to cheat on somebody, I also understand why cheating is wrong on a religious standpoint, just because if you can't be loyal to one person, then how could you be loyal to God? And then the whole thing of Adam and Eve being married and woven together as one flesh and all of that jazz. But basic sexual urges, pre-marriage that's biology, that's the evolutionary aspect that you derived me from and you know what Honestly, I resent that I can get in trouble for that. No-transcript. That's nature. That's not rebellion.
Mike:Have you ever walked into an ice cream shop and you've seen some mouth-breathing moron? Have the audacity to taste. Test the three flavors of vanilla, classic bean or French, before they commit to buying it. Newsflash. It all tastes like vanilla, but you know what that's low-key like, figuring out who we want to have as a sexual partner. Though Are we all not just out here trying which flavor of vanilla that we can tolerate, or if we want something with a little bit more crunch, maybe a rocky road and see if we won't get flavor fatigue in six months, like if I'm supposed to stick with someone for life. I not only want to know if this bike can handle a tough ride, but also how much of a pain in the ass it might be when I go through some terrain and I don't give a fuck. I'm testing those waters early. It won't be on contract day. I've seen way too many busts go number one overall. That's not being sinful, that's being cautious, and you know what? Maybe that's why America is trying to be this sexually free country now too, because we suppress so many urges from the 1600s to the 1800s and, honestly, the poor women back then, I mean ladies you complain so much how selfish men are in the present day, but at least some of us are actually doing our best to try nowadays.
Mike:You ever look into how the vibrator got invented? Women used to go to the doctor with cases of quote-unquote hysteria. So, to relieve this hysteria, a doctor would use a vibrating machine on their pelvic area and they would walk out feeling so much better, for obvious reasons, because none of those women's husbands were doing the one job they had. And you know what, if I didn't get off, and god knows how long, I would have hysteria too. You know what's crazy is. Back then, women weren't insane, they were just horny. I mean, I swear to God, you can look this up the lines that these doctors would have out the door. So they just ended up selling these things as vibrators so women can get themselves off. But you know what's crazy, though, from what I've looked up, jerking off itself isn't a sin, porn is, but what counts as porn? Visuals, memory, like I can't help it if my brain wants to get creative.
Mike:So, no, I'm not going to confess for shit that I know I'm also going to keep doing based on the way that God made me. And plus, also, I'm not going to apologize for something that I'm actually not that sorry for either. Like, trust me, he knows that I'm not sorry, and if you keep apologizing for the same thing and you just keep repeating the offense. You're not sorry either. You're just looking for a get out of jail free card. You're just pissed off that you got fucking caught. But do you know what I am sorry for? I'm sorry for doubting God. I'm sorry that I'm questioning him and not believing I'm going where he wants me to go. I'm sorry that right now I feel like I've been being smited for a reason that I can't see or understand, and I had a slip up.
Mike:I had a moment of weakness and I broke my promise and honestly, I don't even know why, especially being this fucking close to the finish line. That's also what really pisses me off about it. Maybe it was just a natural human sin type of caving, or maybe I was thinking, oh, you're not listening to me, fine, then I'm not going to listen to you either. And you know what really sucks is. After I had that little slip up, besides the things that I can complain about, I started to realize that I actually have a lot of things going on that I should recognize as wins and that I should be grateful and saying thank you, rather than also being in a mindset of, oh God, why this and why that? And I was just selfish thinking about the stuff that made me upset, and to me, that's the real sin. It's not something vanilla like succumbing to a basic human urge such as sex god forbid, it's premarital. To me, the real sin it's that little silent protest, that moment of caving and giving into the things that you legitimately promise to avoid. I mean honestly, besides me just being stuck on a path that I don't know where it's going, I had a moment of spice, when things are actually going pretty fucking nice. Actually, you know what? Speaking of spice, I just had a fucking random thought. Back in the day, anything with spice in it was called deviled, hence why we get the term deviled eggs. But you wouldn't call a woman deviled. So is that why we get the term sourpuss? Oh, I'm sorry, I know that was stupid. Welcome to The LNBE Podcast, everybody, but bad joke aside...
Mike:This year, on 420, as Christians everywhere will seemingly be rising with the Lord, maybe just take a second to think about how the season of Lent and Easter is less about perfection and more about showing up anyway and honestly not focusing on the negatives, but some of the small joys and victories, and having hope that we can release our guilts and just have a fresh start, like to me. That's what Easter is about. It's okay if you fail. What matters is how you move forward. Everything is a learning experience.
Mike:Like last week, I bitched about not being able to fully commit to a tackle in rugby. This week I was all about trying to rid that mental block, and you know what I did it. It didn't look pretty and my form sucked, but at least I can say it was an attempt to be better than I was last week. But you know what? I also got humbled because I also got fucking hurt in the process. Let me tell you. I have no idea what I did, but when I made contact, all of a sudden I felt a crack in my arm, followed by my whole forearm going numb. I was like, oh shit. Well, that can't be good. But you know what? Even though I got hurt, I stayed in that game there. What? Even though I got hurt, I stayed in that game. There was only 10 minutes left in the game. I was like you know what? Pain is temporary, but victory is forever. And mama didn't raise no bitch either. I mean, we ended up losing, but that's besides the point.
Mike:The message is the same, but you know what? I can't really complain because it was also low-key my fault, just like how I broke my Lenten promise. It was my fault that I got hurt in my rugby game because I didn't tackle properly, but because I got hurt, I now know how to better myself and improve on what to do the next time so it doesn't happen again. Growth will always continue and you don't grow a little bit of strength without a little bit of pain. So, with that said, god probably cares less about our browser histories than he does about whether we're being honest with them, because humility isn't weakness. It's a sign that you can acknowledge your limitations and learn to grow from them. I got hurt making a tackle. That's one of the weak spots in my game right now, amongst so many other things. But now I've learned what not to do because I made the mistake and I know how to improve, moving forward, just like when I broke my Lenten promise.
Mike:And you know what, if Jesus can rise again, maybe so can we, even if it's from guilt, confusion or just our own dumb habits. I don't think God needs us to be perfect. I think he just needs us to stop pretending we are and to stop assuming science has all the answers for the stuff that we haven't had the courage to face in ourselves. Maybe that's the point, whether you believe in one God, many gods, or you're still figuring that part out. What matters is the direction you're growing in.
Mike:Moral evolution doesn't require perfection, just presence, just showing up. That's how it starts and how we grow morally as humans, with or without religion. And if that landed with you even a little, do me a favor and share this episode with a friend, rate it, leave a comment, whatever you're feeling. It helps push this thing up and keeps it going. You can also follow me on TikTok and Instagram, @thelnbep odcast, and if you ever want to write in vent or just say what's on your mind, feel free to email me at lnbemedia@ gmail. com. All right, guys. Thank you all so much for listening. I I hope you all have a great week. Happy Easter to all of those who are celebrating and we will chat next week.
