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The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast—"Literally Nothing, But Everything."
It’s a mix of personal stories, life lessons, and hot takes, all told like you're on the phone with your most unfiltered friend.
No experts. No advice. Just vibes, opinions, and faith-based curiosity.
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 63 - Nothing but Finding Direction in the Chaos
Mike runs his mouth about literally nothing but living day to day, feeling directionless, and how job hunting and dating are basically the same thing. He shares a rugby metaphor for resilience, thoughts on faith when it feels like God’s ghosting him, and why bartending might be his next big move. It’s a beautiful mess—just like life.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
Alright, what's going on everybody? You know I've been told that one of my biggest issues is that I tend to live day to day and I don't really think about my future. But, like, honestly, at this point in my life, why is that such a bad thing? Like, how the hell am I supposed to plan for the future when I can't even seem to get the gift that is the present when it comes to my current life and I know that I'm not the only one out there who feels like they're either getting a bit ahead or getting kicked in it but with my life, the only ballplay I'm getting is from rugby right now. So not ideal, but I know I can't be the only one out there feeling this way either. Just being in this constant state, feeling like they have so much going on, there's no real direction, not even knowing where to start, and then, once you even start thinking about where to start, it's exhausting, so you just go, fuck it. We'll circle off back to this tomorrow and it's just a never-ending cycle. It's funny, you see, these memes of like my friends are getting married, my friends are having kids, and I'm just sitting there like well, you know, at least my socks have a matching pair? I don't know. I just have been thinking a lot lately about this stage of my life and for me, I think, it hits a little harder because I'm a triplet and I see how much farther ahead that I feel my siblings are in life rather than where I am. Because there's no better control group than your siblings, right. Like we're all the same age. We were raised by the same people in the same manner. We experienced the ages of 0 to 18 together, plus, in my situation, I also went to college with one of my siblings. So like there is no better control group for me than also looking at my siblings lives, right, and I'm looking ahead at them and I'm just like okay, so one of my sisters is married, with the kid on the way. Thank you guys, thank you. I am looking forward to being an uncle. It's going to be cool. But my other sister is a few months away from having her wedding too, so both of my siblings are moving on with their lives.
Mike:And then there's just me no girl, no job, just a podcast that I can barely hold together once a week, and even that sometimes feels like a group project that I forgot to sign up for. So it's not like I'm not trying like. When it comes to either finding a job or trying to find a girlfriend and, trust me, I've been on interviews for both. Because let's be real here, first dates are basically interviews. Instead of clicking apply, you're just swiping right and you're hoping to get a message back confirming interest. Then you go through a couple rounds of conversation call that the screening process and if that goes well, you meet in person rounds two or three, and after that maybe you land it, maybe you get that shot to give a back shot, I don't know. But even then, both jobs and relationships have a three to six month probationary period, and that's when they're checking for red flags. They're wondering if they can fix you or if they need to cut their losses, because it's a waste of time and money to keep this person around and you know what.
Mike:Speaking of dating, on dating apps, I just saw this the other day with a girl who used the what's it like dating me prompt, and her answer to that was listening to your favorite song on repeat. All right, yeah, as if my favorite song doesn't change with every week. And, honestly, you listen to a song long enough for enough times. You just end up getting sick of it, like how many times have you also heard somebody butcher don't stop believing on karaoke night? So many times then? Now you want to slam your head into the dash every time it comes on while you're driving. But you used to love that song at some point, right, I don't know.
Mike:Meanwhile I have trouble just getting past the talking stage anyways, as if I'm not so easy to get sick of myself. So who the fuck am I to talk? But it's weird seeing my sister's lives and my friend's lives all seeming to move forward, where they're all getting married or having kids or at least moving up in their careers, and I'm just in this ether of space, both in my head and in my life, not knowing where I am, seeming to move backwards as life continues to move forwards. But then, when it comes to job interviews or dates that I've gone on, maybe nothing has worked out because I just haven't truly found the right fit and I'm just also trying to make something happen just for the sake of making it happen. I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to force something that isn't like there for me, I don't know, like with the jobs that I'm applying to and stuff. Like my unemployment runs out soon and I'm having this come to Jesus moment of okay, like I've been applying to jobs in marketing, even though I hate marketing, but it's the only thing on my resume and nothing's come out of it and I'm seriously starting to run out of time. So what the fuck do I do?
Mike:Because I need a job and I just kind of had this realization that the only job that I know that I have ever truly liked was working as a bartender. Like you make drinks, you socialize, and it's one of the most interactive jobs that you can have the conversations, the different personalities of people. Like my grandfather used to always say that he loved his job because he was always working with people and people are the most interesting thing that you can observe or interact with and that's what makes that job so different every day. Because I like a job where it's not the same thing every day. Because I get bored. Um, even when I was in like a corporate setting or an office setting, all I was doing every day was just looking at metrics, looking at analytics, pulling reports, talking to people about the reports. Like talking with the same frigging people every day.
Mike:Like you just get stuck in a rut when it comes to the mundane and it just becomes this soul sucking boredom. Like, yeah, even when it comes to bartending, right, you could say that that's mundane because you're mixing drinks and you're serving people all day, every day. But what makes it not mundane is the spectrum of different people. That is what makes it so entertaining, because you have no idea who's gonna come in. I mean, you have your regulars, so obviously, like, you're gonna have some consistency when it comes to the people, but you also have no idea who's gonna walk in through those doors or the conversations that you're gonna have and the jokes that are gonna be made, or the insights that you might gain from who you talk to, or whatever. Like, like, it is always a different day. You're not always just having the same conversation about reports or metrics or quotas and bullshit. You get to actually have some fucking fun. So I don't know.
Mike:It's not necessarily a career in the traditional sense, but given the fact that I've been applying to jobs when it comes to what I was doing with white collar work, I feel like this is the only thing I could possibly seem to get right now, and I need a job one way or another. So I you know what fuck it. Why not? Why not just try and change careers, do something a little different and see where that takes me? Because I need to change somewhere in my life and I think that's what I'm going to do. Like, honestly, you know, I was talking about going to Nashville at one point in my Nashville episode, maybe moving down there. That's never been off the table, and I remember talking to some of the bartenders down there talking about how much money they could make. Cost of living is so much cheaper down there rather than up here in Connecticut. So who the fuck knows? So maybe once I gain some legit experience experience maybe that's when I plan my move to nashville and I bartend.
Mike:I don't know. All I know is right now I don't have anything figured out and I'm a year out from no longer being in my 20s. So shouldn't I have some fucking sense of what's going on? Like? My life is basically just one beautiful disaster after another, kind of just like every woman that I tend to attract and maybe that's not coincidence because, trust me, I am a disaster. But listen, I'm just saying there's some truth to the stereotype that traumatized women are great in bed. I'm not endorsing it, I'm just saying I don't make the rules. I just accidentally dated the entire committee.
Mike:But it is facts that daddy issues just equal elite head game. That's just math. And you know what part of me, if I ever have a daughter, is of course going to try and be the most loving, present and supportive father I can be, because I don't want her ending up on a pole. But another part of me, the part of me that's still a dude, feels like that. If I miss a recital here or there, maybe I'm just investing in my future son and law’s happiness too. Balance people. It's all about balance, uh.
Mike:But there is this unspoken formula that lack of paternal attention turns into extreme effort. That comes from substituting a dick for a toothbrush. Because what do men love? They love three things head sandwiches and putting their head in a sandwich. So if she's got some unresolved trauma and a panini press, you you're golden pony boy. As if women would want to hear some dude with mommy issues mansplaining their psyche, as if he thinks he knows everything just because he sleeps around to fill the void that was left from her. Wait, so I guess that also explains women with daddy issues. Look at me realizing my own stupidity with daddy issues. Look at me realizing my own stupidity. Guys, I am just a blind squirrel that not only can't find a nut, but I also have a tendency to fall off the branch before I know it's secure. But you know, what women don't do is they don't write a three paragraph text, all in the essence of validating the question of did I do something wrong just because bro didn't receive a response in seven minutes. And now it's just a matter of fighting the own insecurities that men might have. And then we end up just starting a podcast thinking that we know the answers to all this shit. Hashtag guilty. So yeah, both sides got a problem.
Mike:I attract emotional hurricanes, but I'm also not out here pretending to be some high ground. Considering I am well below sea level. I'm more like a bar napkin. I'm so torn and asking myself how I'm still holding myself together at the end of the day, which was just like me and my first ever rugby game last week. Holy shit, I am not good at rugby. I only played in the last 10 minutes because at this point in my rugby career, I'm a total liability and the one chance that I even had an opportunity to do something.
Mike:My one job could have been to catch a ball on a kickoff. So when this ball is coming towards me, I took a step or two towards it, but then all of a sudden I thought the guy in front of me said that he had it, so I backed off and then it just goes in between us in no man's land. And that was when I'm like shit, that's still a live ball and it takes a bad bounce, goes behind me, but I go to try and recover it. And in that moment was when I realized how bonnie blue might have fell after that thousand person train run, because two dudes just ran at me full speed and I just got fucking wrecked. Oh, but you know what I own that fuck up. Like I should have communicated for that ball a little bit better. And I took the punishment for my mistake and instead of being like, oh, that sucked, I went over to my teammate and said you know what, buddy, like that was my bad, that's on me. And I'm honestly now looking forward to the next practice Because I'm not going to cower down for looking like an idiot in that moment.
Mike:Dude, I look like an idiot all the time. Anyone listening to this podcast knows that by now, or you should know that by now. Hell, even in this episode I probably proved that. So like, so what if I took a fucking hit? You take one hit in a contact sport, knowing what you signed up for, and then you're gonna bow out from it? No, that's some bitch shit. You take the hit, you get up, you learn from it or, if anything, you just better prepare for the next time that you're in that situation like in that moment I, low-key, realized that that hit was just a small little metaphor for life. At all stages of it You're going to be in uncomfortable situations and you're going to take hits that you don't want to take. But to me that's all kind of the process of trying to figure out where you are or what you want to be. And you won't figure that out unless you keep showing up and you just keep trying to improve by taking those hits.
Mike:And they say that it's in the times when you take the shots that hit the hardest, is when God is also testing you the most. It's when you don't think that he sees what you're dealing with and you're just sitting up there like, hey, bro, like kinda need you right now? Where the hell are you? And it's in those moments where priests and pastors, or whoever they'll start saying shit like oh, it's in these times of not knowing if God sees you is when you gotta keep the faith, because that's when he's testing you to know your loyalty towards him. And that just sounds ridiculous to me, if I'm being completely honest, because I know some pretty lucky ass atheists out there, so I don't know if I fully believe that God only serves those who serve him.
Mike:Like to me, especially when I'm down, being able to still have faith when God seems to disappear isn't just a sign of testing loyalty towards him, but it's also a sign of strength, because it's a matter of holding on. Like if you're doing a dead hang, how long is it until you need to let go? But you know what Having faith is like, having that cushion beneath you, knowing that it's going to be okay when you do actually fall, like every time that you hold on to that bar, you also seem to be able to hang a little bit longer each time, and that's growth. It's a matter of how long you can hang on with each new challenge, and the longer that you hold on, the stronger you become, and you can't just give up and let go because you got to fight for every second that you can. You are mentally and physically stronger than you think, and it's not until you're truly grasping that God's grace washes over you, and that goes for atheists too. An all loving parent will still help a child regardless of mistake, and that also includes when they tend to sway or stray away. But that's also not to say that you won't be punished for it at some point, and that's why I think it's said that there's no challenge that God can give that you can't handle, because he's not also testing your faith to him, but your strength within yourself.
Mike:Maybe that's also why I tend to not really think about my future, because I'm truly just trying to navigate my way through the present day, like if I don't have answers for tomorrow. I can't even fathom thinking about five years from now. You never know what could happen or what. You'll be Hell if. I know if trying to change careers to bartending is a smart move. I don't know if playing rugby is a smart move. I don't know if me thinking of moving to a whole new state while on the precipice of being an uncle and moving farther away from my family is a smart move.
Mike:But while I question all of these things, you also need to be aware of when you're also being heard. Like last week I mentioned that I was asking questions to a God that I felt that kept his phone on silent and I wasn't being heard or seen. But then the other day I went for a run One because I was in a funk and two, I'm also just trying to keep in shape for rugby and on the run there was this kid on a scooter who started picking up speed next to me as I was running alongside him and they kept looking at me and I was just like, oh, like, oh, shit, this kid wants to race, so I end up racing this kid, and in that moment it was just a small little win because it also reminded me that, yeah, you know what I am being seen and that little childlike joys of playing games and having fun is all around us. We just need to be aware of when it's happening, even when we're facing a shit storm of a time. It's also not about the direct win, even though I smoked that kid. It's about the fact that life also showed up to play even for a second, and maybe that means that you're still in the game too, even though you might be down 28 to 3 at the half.
Mike:So, yeah, I'm, I'm in the thick of it. Life feels like it's running drills on me and I'm just trying to stay on my feet. I don't have all the answers Hell, I don't even know the questions half the time but I'm showing up, I'm talking to God, even when it feels like I'm leaving voicemails. I'm listening for signs, even if the only thing I hear is the sound of a rugby boot stepping over my head and I don't know what's next. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm trying, I'm asking, I'm showing up, and that's all I can ask for you guys too. That's the only advice I can give you guys is to keep trying, keep asking, keep showing up, and if you're still here listening, then maybe you actually are doing that.
Mike:And if you are still listening, feel free to share the pod. Follow me on my socials. You can find me @thelnbep odcast on TikTok and Instagram. Please continue to rate, comment and subscribe to help boost this thing to the top. And if you want to write in, feel free to send me an email to lnbemedia@ gmail. com. Alright, guys, I hope you all have a fantastic week and I will catch up with you next time.
