Episode 62 - Nothing but "What the Hell Was That?"

Mike runs his mouth on literally nothing but why he missed last week, a chaotic childhood story, and a band that writes love songs to an imaginary god while wearing masks—because that somehow makes more sense than anything else in his life right now.

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Transcript

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Rugby League Adventures

Speaker 1 0:10

Alright , how's everybody doing ? I'm sorry that I didn't do an episode last week , but it's because I actually recently joined a rugby league a couple weeks ago and last week just kind of got away from me . Oh , mike , have you ever played rugby before ? Nope , never even watched it . Then what made you want to do it ? All right ? Well , I was at a bar and a couple dudes walked in . We got to talking and they were just like hey , we're always looking for people to join the town rugby team and you kind of look like you'd be able to play , so why don't you come on by to our practice ? So I was like you know what ? Fuck it ? Why not ? What else do I have to lose ? So I went and I had a lot more fun than I thought . I would have met a great group of people . So I figured I'd stick with it and I just have no idea what I'm doing . But that's just par for the course , especially when it comes to my life in general . But I've been trying to watch and learn as much as possible because we actually have a game coming up and , unlike my personal life , I don't want to be a total embarrassment out there on the field . So if anybody has any tips or pointers for me to know , I'm all ears . You can shoot me an email to lnbemedia at gmailcom if you guys want to help me

Real Struggle and Self-Worth

Speaker 1 1:25

out . So that's what I got going on in my life currently and I hope you guys are all living your best lives .

Speaker 1 1:31

Since we last talked , actually speaking of in the last episode , I talked about Lent and the idea of struggle , which sounds noble in theory , until people start confusing it with being a wingman at the bar . And I don't mean the type of struggle where you fall on the sword so your friend can get with the hottie while you distract sid the slot . That's not sacrifice , that's just poor judgment in too many vodka crayons . I'm going to bet with tens waking up with twos , the sacrifices that we make for our friends . No , I'm talking about actual struggle , like the emotional , the physical , the spiritual kind , the kind that'll leave a mark , the kind that'll beat you down until the juice of life is squeezed out of you and you're just a pulp a traumatized smoothie , if you will where now you gotta rebuild and come out stronger .

Speaker 1 2:27

On the other side , life is chaos , and I don't mean it's chaotic in the sense that you date someone who breaks up with you every three weeks due to being insecure , or so they can go and work on themselves to strengthen the relationship . That's just called manipulation . And you're better than that . Know your own self-worth . You gotta be strong enough to know that that person is just toxic . Just fucking call them out the next time . Next time they pull that shit where it's just like oh , I just think we need some time apart , because distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that shit . You know what you gotta say when they pull that shit ? Just be like you know what actually strengthened this relationship if you were actually out of it . Because deep down , they come back because they know that they can't get anyone better , but they're just trying to tear you down to their level so that way you'll feel insecure . And now my the turntables . And they're the ones that ultimately gain the power , when you were the one that initially had it .

Speaker 1 3:36

So stop being so stupid and pretending . This idea that no pain , no gain . It's all part of my growth arc , when you easily could have just stepped away from it . You know what that's like . That's like if you go play in traffic and each time you said , nah , car won't hit me and then you end up shocked that one did every single time Like .

Speaker 1 4:00

Struggle isn't built from your own stupidity . I've said it before on this podcast . I'll say it again you don't put yourself in a bad situation and if you come to realize that a once safe situation isn't so safe anymore , just remove yourself . Struggle isn't always loud and it isn't always dramatic . Sometimes it's quiet , sometimes it's a little bit confusing , and sometimes you know it's quiet . Sometimes it's a little bit confusing and sometimes you know it's just fucking weird . Sometimes something just happens and you go what in the hell was that ? Am I supposed to learn something here , or did I just become a sims character and just glitch the fuck out like what is going

My Playground Out-of-Body Experience

Speaker 1 4:43

on ? Actually , no joke , you guys want to hear a glitch story . I got a fucking glitch story and I swear to god with every fiber of my being this is a true story and it truly is a like what the fuck ?

Speaker 1 5:00

Moment . So I'm seven years old , I'm at school , it's during recess , I'm in like second grade , I'm on the monkey bars minding my own business , probably pretending to be spider-man or some shit . I don't know , I was a weird kid , whatever . Get past it . So I proved to myself that I'm not Spider-Man in that moment , because I slip and I fall , and I fall fucking hard , like I actually blacked out for a fraction of a second , and then all of a sudden my eyes open up , I get up and time feels very slow , like I have no idea how long this all went down , for , honestly , from my perspective and from what I remember , it felt like this whole scenario was like 45 seconds , definitely no longer than a minute tops . But I get up , right , and I don't feel hurt , right . And then I take a couple steps but I also realize that nobody can see me Because , keep in mind , we're also at recess . There's a bunch of kids running around me , but yet nobody's interacting with me .

Speaker 1 6:21

So now I'm like , oh shit , nobody can see me . Maybe they can hear me . So I just start screaming at the top of my lungs just to see if anyone could hear me . But the messed up part was I couldn't even hear myself and I knew I was screaming because I could feel it , but there was just no sound coming out . Come to think of it , there actually wasn't sound at all . Period like I saw people playing . I obviously I'm on a playground , so kids are probably screaming and yelling , but I actually didn't hear shit . So there's just no sound period , just silence . And then there's me just standing there , like you ever just see , like a baby , empty cry , just eyes tight , mouth open , like a fish , just no sound is coming out .

Speaker 1 7:12

So now I'm in a like truly like what the fuck state right , like , oh shit , did I fall so hard that I knocked myself invisible ? I literally just thought I was spider-man . Maybe I became invisible man , I don't fucking know . Know , but I gotta be honest , if that's what invisibility is like , that is a low key , underrated superpower , like I mean , at that time in that experience it really wasn't the greatest because I didn't know what I was truly experiencing . But I'm telling you , man , given the right circumstances , it could be pretty peaceful .

Speaker 1 7:54

So now I'm actually just standing there , confused , right , like well , I guess this is just my life now , and I'm kind of panicking because , like who the fuck wouldn't ? You're seven years old , nobody can see you , you can't speak , you can't hear anything . If there's any time to panic , it would be then . So I'm like looking around , just being like what the hell's going on , and I turn around and I legitimately see my body just chilling on the ground and I'm just like , well , if I'm over here , what the fuck am I also doing over there ? Like I must have hit the matrix or some shit .

Speaker 1 8:32

But weirdly , once I saw myself , I went from this like total panic to almost having this sense of calm , like all right , well , you know what , let's go over and investigate . So I take a few steps towards my body and boom , all of sudden I just wake up . I'm staring back at the monkey bars laying on my back again like nothing had ever happened . I didn't have any pain , I didn't have a headache , no bruises , just snapped right back into simulation . So , like any other kid , I was like , huh , all right , that was kind of weird . But all right , back to recess . Who's up for some tag ? No reflection , no processing , just eh , you know , I think I'm fine story of my life , though honestly , the hell was that , don't know . All right , carry on .

Speaker 1 9:30

And this is why

Finding Meaning in Spiritual Confusion

Speaker 1 9:32

I say that it couldn't have lasted that long and why I'm thinking it was like a minute tops , when in actuality the whole thing probably could have lasted three seconds , because none of the other kids around even seemed to notice that I had fallen , like when I got back up . I'm not even joking when I say this . I swear to god , the teacher was the only person that knew that I even fell or had this incident , because as soon as I get up and I start running around as if I literally didn't just die on the playground , she sees me and she calls me over and , after giving me a quick inspection , I think she determined that I was fine . It's just like all right , go play . Like I think she determined that I was fine . I was just like all right , go play , I think . Honestly , I just remember her staring into my eyes and she was probably just checking to make sure that I didn't have any signs of a concussion . But even she was just like what the fuck just happened to this kid ? But I didn't have any signs of injury or anything . So she was like all right , probably fine .

Speaker 1 10:28

Kids are kind of like tattoos , they're . So she was like all right , probably fine . Like kids are kind of like tattoos . You know , they're a little bit more resilient than you think . So I don't know , maybe that's why I don't panic when I lose stuff now , like if I lose my keys or my wallet , I'm just like you know it'll turn up . I literally lost my entire body and even that came back . You think if I lose my phone or my wallet I'm really going to give a shit . So yeah , if you lose something , just relax . It's probably fine , unless it's your soul , but even then maybe you'll respond . It's kind of like how life works , right , you hit the ground , you wake up and you carry on . But I will say , just remember that if you're already at rock bottom , you may as well just keep digging , because the deeper you go , eventually you're either hit water or gold , and I feel like that's the freaking motto that casinos run on . But it's weird .

Speaker 1 11:28

Man Like I will randomly think about this experience , which I can only classify as an out-of-body experience . But it really was like really bizarre , because most people's out-of-body experiences , from what I've read , like nicky sixes , where he was levitating and saw a light meanwhile . I didn't get anything cool like that . Like honestly , my out-of-body experience I felt like was kind of a waste . I'm like just walking around a playground trying to get some kids to notice me . Pause , I was seven . This isn't in the current state of affairs . I was seven , everybody hold your horses .

Speaker 1 12:08

But I don't know , I feel like , uh , maybe it's because we're in lent right now , but I've just been thinking about that experience a little bit more and what it's meant like was god trying to prove something to me that souls are real and there is something beyond this physical world . Why didn't he need to show me a light , like I've heard in other people's stories ? Is it because I never really needed proof that he was real ? Is it to show that , even when I feel lost either in life or in faith , that God's always looking out for me and I'll always find my way back ? I really don't know what that experience was supposed to tell me .

Speaker 1 12:52

But after all this talk about souls and spiritual confusion , let's talk about a band that has elements of questioning some faith .

Sleep Token and Faith for the Confused

Speaker 1 13:00

You know what ? Let's bring back that segment where I talk about artists that I like , that you guys might not know . I mean , personally , I've actually listened to this band for a while now , but they have gained kind of a cultish following , so you might know who they are , but honestly , they are just too good for me to ignore , especially since they're also about to release a new album I think in may that I'm actually super stoked , for it's a band called sleep token and the concept behind them is wild . All of the members are masked and anonymous , except for the lead singer , who's known as Vessel . All the other members of the band just go by numbers like two , three , four , five .

Speaker 1 13:42

I want to say I actually don't know how many members are in this band , but all of their music is technically worship . It's not Christian , it's not satanic , but it's worship for this mysterious entity called sleep , and that's literally what they call it . It's called sleep and the whole idea is that this entity came to vessel through a dream to spread like its message through music . And if he does it , then he's going to become super popular and famous , which the band has ultimately become . But right now they're like all over the map and they're just interesting because they're metal , but they have pop elements and beats and they have piano ballads and it's just some of the most melodic and heavy and most beautiful music that you could ever hear , all just for an entity that everyone knows about .

Speaker 1 14:36

But everybody has different interpretations on what it could be and honestly , that feels way more relatable than most of the worship music that I've heard , because most days I don't even feel like I'm singing confidently to a God that I fully understand . Like most days , it feels like I'm just trying to a God that I fully understand . Like most days , it feels like I'm just trying to get some message across through static , and to me that's what Sleep Token represents . I'm not saying that I believe that this entity , sleep , is God . I believe that God is God . I'm just saying I like what Sleep Token's music represents .

Speaker 1 15:15

It's beauty and breakdowns all in the same breath . It's faith for the confused and it kind of mirrors what I've felt ever since I was seven and floating outside of my body like a ghost with bad timing . I didn't get a message , I didn't get clarity , I didn't get a burning bush , but I felt something . And I , I didn't get clarity , I didn't get a burning bush , but I felt something and I've never really let that go . And Sleep Token does that Like . Their music to me feels like it's a prayer that doesn't know who it's for , but at the same time they represent the same things that I'm going through with , all of the unknowns in my life , and I don't know what that moment when I was seven meant .

Speaker 1 16:01

Maybe I don't know what I'm doing now with my career or my podcast , or why those guys happen to come into the bar that I was at , asked me to play rugby . But I'm still here , I'm still asking questions , I'm still digging , and whether I find gold water or just another sleep token vinyl on the floor , I'm good with that , because those are all positive things and if you guys want to do a positive thing , if you guys like this episode , please share it with a friend , follow and give it a rating to help boost

Closing Thoughts and Thank You

Speaker 1 16:34

the pod . Follow me on my socials , on Instagram and TikTok . You can find me at the LNBE podcast and if you guys want to write in , feel free to email me at lnbemedia at gmailcom . Thank you guys , so much for listening and supporting . I'll try not to get killed in rugby and we'll catch up next time . Thank you .