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The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast—"Literally Nothing, But Everything."
It’s a mix of personal stories, life lessons, and hot takes, all told like you're on the phone with your most unfiltered friend.
No experts. No advice. Just vibes, opinions, and faith-based curiosity.
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 58 - Nothing but Feels: Valentine's Day Laughs and Chief's Grief
In this episode of the LNBE Podcast, it’s a rollercoaster. Mike runs his mouth about the feels of Valentine’s Day—because let’s face it, nothing says love like over-the-top expectations and—mixing that with the grief of Chiefs fans’ Super Bowl heartbreak. Whether you’re nursing a broken heart or celebrating the Chief's loss like Mike, we’ve got something for you. Tune in for takes on Valentines day and the Super Bowl.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
roses are red, violets are blue. Didn't get a text back. Well, what else is new? Valentine's day is fake, just like your boobs ring, ring. Who's that? The crazy ex you swore you'd never run back to? Sorry guys, I've been sick all week, so that's what I've been dealing with, but I hope your guys' week has all been great.
Speaker 1:And, if you can't tell, we are in a Valentine's Day mood this week. So happy Valentine's Day to everybody who's listening and, for those who are, thank you so much for tuning into this episode of the LNBE Podcast, where LNBE stands for literally nothing but everything low expectations, bad takes and somehow we keep going. Um, yeah, so valentine's day is going to be on the day that I put this thing out. And is love in the air? Well, I definitely don't smell anything. And just some little advice for all of you guys out there Don't be that guy stalking your ex on Instagram, wishing that you could get back together, just because you're so lonely on the one day that Hallmark says shame on you for being single. Plus, if she didn't even block you, was there even a real relationship there? Or maybe that's just me and my experiences being hashtag toxic. But come on, guys, like there's a reason as to why you broke up. Do yourself a favor and don't go back just because you know the parts and how the machine operates. Well, it's going to be different this time, buddy. It's really not. The ride's still broken and you're just going to get hurt again. Trust me, we've all been there. And for the ladies, a little Valentine's PSA for you. If you're thinking about texting your ex today, don't. He's not your. What if he's your? Thank god I dodged a bullet. Trust me, deep down, you already know how this ends. You're just gonna end up crying in the car, scrolling his new girl's profile and just setting yourself up to listen to sad music and blame astrology. But he was my twin flame. My twin flame. What are you talking about? You played with fire and you got burned.
Speaker 1:Toxic people and this is for both men and women toxic people don't change, they just get better at manipulating. All right, hang on, I gotta go grab some water because I can already see myself having a coughing fit. All right, and with that, thanks to the power of editing, I am back, just going to crack open a little liquid death here. Hopefully it'll kill this cold that I got. All right, it's a little better. Okay, yeah, no, I think I would know a thing or two.
Speaker 1:When it comes to dealing with toxic people. Um, if this is your first time listening, welcome. But if it's not, then hopefully you guys remember the episodes that I put out about the restraining order that I got from an ex-girlfriend of mine from three years ago. And if you're new to the podcast, feel free to go listen to those two episodes. I promise you it's freaking crazy.
Speaker 1:Um, but yeah, no, hopefully, if you guys are celebrating valentine's day, you're doing it happily, you're doing it safely and it is with somebody that you love and not with somebody who you're just biding your time with or they're just biding your time with you, because that is just not a fun situation to be in. But it's always interesting to me how couples always flex so hard on valentine's day with these long ass posts about how they met and how in love they are. But to me it's funny how the longer they're together, the shorter the posts get, unless there's a problem. Because when there's problems in the relationship, that's when you get the three paragraph happy anniversary post. That's really just damage control. Meanwhile you know that they definitely fought that morning. Oh, you forgot the reservation. You forgot that it was valentine's day, bro. It literally happens the same day every year. Okay, but in defense of that, I would probably forget my sister's birthday if it wasn't the same day as mine.
Speaker 1:So I think a little bit of grace is also given. Plus, who's to say that it's always up to the guy? How come the woman never is the one to initiate the plans or the reservation? Why is it always up to the guy to get the flowers and the chocolates? Are we not also supposed to be appreciated on Valentine's Day? Hmm, hmm, yeah. What do you say to that? Shoes on the other foot? Now, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Valentine's Day to me is all about grand gestures and pretending that everything's perfect. It's basically the Super Bowl of false advertising. Speaking of which fun fact, did you know that? The original lyrics to Paradise City? I don't know if I mentioned this before on the pod, I might have done it in an early episode. If I have forgive me, but since I brought up Sweet Child to mind last week, it kind of got me thinking about this. But the original lyrics to Paradise City were actually take me down to the Paradise City where the chicks are fat and they got big titties. I remember reading that in Slash's autobiography years ago and it just lives in my head rent free at this point. But let's just be clear about something right? Big titties don't count if you're fat. That's like saying that a guy's got a six pack under his coat but it's actually just beer bottles. It's deceptive, it's false advertising. Somebody call the FTC, and by that I mean the Fat Titty Commission. We need regulations on this.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, sorry guys, I've literally been dying all week. I have no idea what the fuck I have, but it has been driving me crazy all week. It was really wild too, because on Friday I felt fine, I went out to go hang out with a friend and then all of a sudden Saturday it just hit me like a fucking tsunami, just out of nowhere, and it just kind of started like a really bad head cold. I just felt super fatigued and whatever, and then, as it progressed, I started to feel better, but then it just started residing in my chest and now I just have this like lingering cough. I didn't have a cough at the start of this thing, but I'm getting a cough at the end of it. I hope I'm on the end of this thing, but only time will tell. But I will say it did put a damper in my Super Bowl plans because, as we all know, sunday was the Super Bowl and I ended up just watching it by myself at home because I was sick. But hopefully you guys all had fun little parties and you guys went out or did something.
Speaker 1:I actually am a fan of not going out during the Super Bowl. I would much rather watch it, like on my couch on the TV, with friends who I also know are interested in the game, because even if it's teams that I don't care about who are playing, I still want to watch the game. Like the Super Bowl is kind of like the sports equivalent to my Christmas. Like, even if it's teams that I don't care about, I'm going to sit down, I'm going to watch it, I'm going to enjoy the game as a fan of the NFL. And when you go out, you're just dealing with people who are drinking and everybody gets too involved in what's going on around them and you don't end up actually sitting there watching the game, you just end up sitting there bullshitting with the people around you. Oh my god, that was a great commercial. I could give a fuck about the commercial, but can somebody please explain to me why it was a 10 yard penalty on that play? No, because none of you were fucking paying attention.
Speaker 1:But I will say that game did not go anywhere in the way that I thought it was going to, because going into it everybody's like, oh who are you rooting for? And my initial thought process was the sinkhole. But since this isn't the fucking dark knight, I guess I'm gonna be rooting for the eagles. Because, fuck the chiefs. And the only reason I was actually gonna watch it was just because I like to be pissed off. And I thought that the chiefs were gonna win because they were going to get some frou-frou penalties that were going to go their way. And I thought that the Eagles were going to have to play a perfect game, because when the Chiefs are on the field it's always Thanksgiving, because the refs and the announcers are always gobble-gobbling Mahomes' dick. So, god forbid the Kansas City Crybaby Swifties. Have a call, go against them.
Speaker 1:But what I did not expect was that, brady, I didn't know that Fox was going to be the ones hosting the NFL, so I didn't know that Brady and Kevin Burkhart were going to be the ones announcing the game and Black Magic met Black Magic because that Chiefs team should not have even been to the Super Bowl. I talked about it last week how they went 15-2 and they really shouldn't have even been 15-2. If anything, they probably should have been like 9-8 or something crazy. But the black magic of Brady cannot be disputed because we have to give credit where credit is due and Brady has cost Mahomes now three Super Bowls. At this point he announced one that they lost. He was in one that they lost and that was the first beating that Mahomes took in a Super Bowl. And then in 20 what was it? 18? He beat the Chiefs in the AFC championship game. That would have gotten the Chiefs to the Super Bowl, but Brady stopped him at that point.
Speaker 1:So thank you to Tom Brady for again just doing whatever it is that you do or whatever aura that you have to stop this Chiefs team from winning. Because if they were going to win a 3p with that sorry ass team when the Dynasty Patriots couldn't win a 3p, I was going to strictly just boycott watching any Chiefs game next year, just because I can't handle it, because I was like the Chiefs are going to win, just to keep their ratings up and improve and that's all the NFL wants. So the way to get them to not have one more rating go for them. I was going to just stop watching Chiefs games. Go for them. I was going to just stop watching Chiefs games. And as a society, I think we should all start doing that in general, because NFL is a business. It's an entertainment league. The Chiefs are the entertainment of the league right now because they are winning. So the less viewership that you give them, the more that they're going to start steering it somewhere else.
Speaker 1:So congratulations to the Eagles on a massive win. I'm so glad that you give them the more that they're going to start steering it somewhere else. So congratulations to the Eagles on a massive win. I'm so glad that you totally just manhandled Mahomes. I mean, they had what? 23 total yards going into the second half. That is nuts. That is unheard of for a team like that. They didn't even hit midfield until the third quarter. Sorry, I had to take another sip of water. Um, but it's also like considering that team.
Speaker 1:Of what I was watching all year, it finally made sense where it's just like. This is what happens when you allow teams to actually play against this team. Like it was truly amazing that there was not a single roughing the passer call and Mahomes was running for his life the entire game, which also exposed how bad that offensive line truly was all year, because the Eagles only did a four-man rush the entire game. Mahomes wasn't actually blitzed the entire game. Give credit to um, what's his name? Uh, nick Vangio on the Eagles, the defensive coordinator for them. That dude honestly should have won MVP because that defense was just totally lights out. They just figured out how to beat that Chiefs team and Steve Spagnuolo, for, as great of a defensive coach as he is, he could not get a stop to save his life. So whatever nick sirianni and whatever uh nick um vangio had going on, they just had the chiefs figured out and it was glorious to watch. That score doesn't even represent how bad the game actually was, because mahomes got that one garbage time touchdown when they were putting in all their backups. So it's like, all right, cool, you got a 60-yard bomb with playing their second or third stringers whoever was actually playing in the game at that point. So good on the Eagles. I think this was great for the NFL that the Chiefs did not win.
Speaker 1:Also, you know what, at a certain point you kind of realized that, like the Chiefs, I think, just expected that they were going to win this game, because once it got to that 24 to nothing, they all look like they just kind of gave up. Like this is where the whole goat debate between Brady and Mahomes Brady was down 28-3. The dude never lost his drive to win the game. He always put his team in a position to at least score. Mahomes couldn't even do that. I mean, granted, he was running for his life the whole time and he was sacked six times. But to even compare him to Brady in that sense, I think in one of the Super Bowls against the Giants, I think Brady was sacked six times and that was still only a one score game.
Speaker 1:And this was the game when it was 24 to nothing, that Mahomes could have pulled out his Brady-esque aura that everybody's saying that this guy has, and he just couldn't do it. He could not get any momentum and it's like, oh, is this what happens to a team? When you just don't get the calls, when you don't have the help from the refs, you guys just give up. And it made me like ecstatic for the fact that finally the Swifties were able to witness a loss for the first time kind of makes me wonder if that's actually gonna only enhance them to want to come back next year and watch them come back, or if they're gonna be like, oh, they lost, they didn't play well.
Speaker 1:This might be Travis's last year. And if Travis does actually retire, I wonder if all the Swifties who came into the NFL watching for the fact of just seeing her on the screen they're all going to check out because Taylor's no longer going to be at the games. And who are they going to use to advertise the Chiefs now? And I'm sorry people don't think that Kelsey's kind of washed at this point saying that he shouldn't retire, he should come back, he should try to win his Super Bowl again before he goes out, like always going out on top in that way.
Speaker 1:In the second quarter he completely whiffed on blocking Josh Sweat, leading to back-to-back sacks on the homes. Dude looked like he was out there practicing the mannequin challenge rather than playing in a football game. But at the end of the day the Chiefs ended up fumbling the Super Bowl, just like how some of y'all are about to fumble somebody's Valentine's Day. So tough week for everybody expecting a ring. Alright, guys. With that said, I hope all of you guys do have a very happy Valentine's Day. Be safe, have fun, enjoy your loved one's company. If you guys like this episode, please make sure that you guys rate it, comment, like, subscribe, follow me on my socials. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at the LNBE podcast, and if you want to write in, you can do so by emailing me at lnbemedia at gmailcom. All right, guys, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend in the spirit of Valentine's Day. I love you all. Thank you all so much for listening to this episode and supporting me in this, and I will catch up with you guys next week. Thank you.
