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The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast—"Literally Nothing, But Everything."
It’s a mix of personal stories, life lessons, and hot takes, all told like you're on the phone with your most unfiltered friend.
No experts. No advice. Just vibes, opinions, and faith-based curiosity.
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 51 - Nothing but Astrology Absurdness, and Psychedelic Mishaps
We kick things off with the surprising realization that we've surpassed the 50-episode mark, joining the elite 11% of podcasts that achieve this feat! Recorded in the late hours after a date, we reflect on modern dating, serendipitous encounters, and even make a detour into the world of Tesla cars. Reflecting on this journey, we express our heartfelt gratitude to all our listeners who've been along for the ride.
Do you ever wonder why some people believe in astrology? We ponder this age-old mystery and share a chaotic listener story about a mushroom trip gone awry due to an untimely phone call. As we close this episode, a thank you is in order for all the support and a gentle reminder to prioritize self-care—especially when it comes to psychedelics. Here's to many more episodes!
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Instagram and TikTok @thelnbepodcast.
all right, what's going on? Everybody, thank you for tuning into this episode of the lnbe podcast, where lnbe stands for literally nothing but everything. I'm mike rispoli and we did it. We made it to episode 50. It's funny because, uh, last week a few friends of mine who listened to this podcast reached out to me and they're just like you didn't do anything special for episode 50. Like what the hell? I'm like dude. I didn't even know it was episode 50 until after I uploaded this stupid thing. So, because normally, um, what, um, what I do is like when I upload these things, I then have to go back and look at what episode number it was, and apparently on Tuesday I uploaded episode 50. So here we are. We did it, woohoo.
Speaker 1:So I looked up some stats just because I was curious, and, according to a google search with AI overview because AI is just taking over everything um, 90% of podcasts actually don't even make it past episode 3. Episode 3. 44% of podcasts don't make it past. Oh jesus, I just read that About 32,000 podcasts out of 1,792,000 that make it past episode 3 go on to get past 20 episodes. All right, well, we're surpassed that 94% of podcasts fail to reach the 100th episode mark. So who knows if I'll do that. Only 11% of podcasts make it to 50 episodes. So here we are, episode 51 now.
Speaker 1:Are you going to do anything fun and exciting for episode 51? No, it's just another fucking episode. What do I care? I'm just happy that I got people listening to this damn thing. I mean, honestly, I'm going to tell you guys the same thing I tell all of my dates. If you guys are dumb enough to stick it out with me for this long, that's on you. But with that said, I would really like to say thank you to all of you who have listened in the past to all the previous episodes and to everybody who has stuck it out, because I know in the beginning there was a little bit rough. I mean, I still think it's rough. You guys might think the same thing, but hopefully we're getting somewhere and I really do appreciate all of the support that you guys have given me by listening to this, by sharing it, by commenting and rating it, because without you guys, this whole podcast would be for nothing. So, truly, thank you so much for all of the support that you guys have given me.
Speaker 1:So what the hell am I doing with episode 51? I really don't know. It is like 2.50 in the morning now. And why am I posting so late? Well, because your boy had a date. Yeah, that's right. Did the date really go all night? No, no, I'm not lucky enough for that. But no, we met up at a restaurant and we ended up leaving around like 11 30 just hanging out talking. And then I went out to a bar that my friend works at. I saw that the lights were still on, so I went and visited him and we just ended up hanging out. So that was why, or that is why, it's so late tonight, and I think I'm going to have to post this thing on Saturday, because by the time I'm done editing and doing whatever I need to do for this, I don't think I'm going to get it done in time, and I'm just going to want to go to bed at some point.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, sorry that this is going to be a day late, but it was funny because I actually went to high school with this girl and I never met her. I mean, that truly tells you how big my high school was. I went to a high school with 3,000 kids. My high school class was like just under 650 kids. And it was funny because when we were talking, I was just like what year did you graduate high school? She goes xyz. I'm like, oh my god, I went to high school from xyz to xyz, like we were in the same class. I look at my yearbook, there she is, and so I'm like I didn't even know who you were until now. That's crazy. And I was like did you happen to know one of my sisters? Because I'm a triplet. So the fact that the three of us were in the same grade what are the odds that you wouldn't have met one of us Ends up that she was in one of my sister's cooking classes. So there you go. However, on the dating app profile that I use to match with this girl Because that's how everybody matches with people nowadays I really want to know, I'm genuinely curious, if anybody's actually met somebody organically in the new age of technology.
Speaker 1:I mean, I just made a comment that AI is taking over everything, and not to totally deviate, but since I just talked about, or I mentioned, ai, it's kind of making me think about elon musk, and can we just be completely honest here that teslas are some of the most ugly, fucking looking cars that you've ever. What is that fucking truck dude? And then even the inside you would think it would be some sort of like a spaceship kind of a thing, but you get inside of it and it's completely empty fucking cell. Like what is it? It's just a rectangular box. I don't get the appeal of that stupid fucking thing. I really don't. Oh, but it's electric and it's gonna save the world. Yeah, but you still need fucking fossil fuels in order to make the stupid thing. And have you guys ever seen the movie cars? To me, that's's what Teslas all look like, oh my God. Speaking of Tesla, though, I saw this meme where it was like Trump finally got the one thing that he was the most worried about An immigrant taking his job, because we all know that Elon is going to be running ship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, so, anyways, where was I going with this whole thing? Um, on the dating app profile that I have, I listed that I was a pisces, because I was so freaking tired of always getting the question oh, what's your sign? So, instead of like having it be asked to me, I was just like all right, you know, I'm just gonna post it on here, because on hinge, it is one of the things that you can post and I'll just let the girl decide how she wants to judge me based off of a stupid sign that doesn't exist, and go from there. So, depending on if she vibes with that star sign, she can decide if she wants to swipe left or right on me. Like even just the stupidity of that.
Speaker 1:In general, like you're gonna judge somebody based off of what their sign is, I could be the complete opposite of what you think. It means, like I, to prejudge somebody without even having a conversation oh, they're a fucking taurus. I hate tauruses. Oh, my ex was, was a Taurus and we all know how that ended up. But it's also like, okay, well, I'm not your ex and maybe if you're still judging somebody based off of what somebody else did, then maybe you're not ready to be dating because you should never be going into a new relationship with, like the same thought process that everybody's going to be the same as the last person. I don't know. To me that just means that you still got traumas that you're still trying to deal with and you're just bringing that past trauma onto this new person and that's not even fair to the new person that you're trying to go out with. So I don't know, maybe it's just me, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm an idiot. I think I've proven quite a bit on this thing that I am an idiot. But here we are, episode 51.
Speaker 1:I also feel like I've already said this before in the past. So, anyways, me and this girl were talking and she goes oh, I saw that you were a Pisces and I was like I mean, is that bad? Like what's that mean? Oh my god, are we not compatible? Oh my god, are we not compatible? Dude, I genuinely don't give a shit, like I truly do not care. I either vibe with you and the sex is good or I don't, and it's not. End of discussion. I do not care what the fake stars have to say, and at this point I would just like to emphasize that this is not actually how the conversation went at all when we met up together. Like I actually thoroughly enjoyed my time with her, she also did say that she really enjoyed her time with me. I am hoping that there will be a second date, if you are listening to this episode. She also did say that I'm exactly the same on the pod as I am in person. So take that as you will same on the pod as I am in person, so take that as you will.
Speaker 1:I will say, though, it is kind of weird when you hit astrology tiktok and you're always curious, right like curiosity kills the cat, so of course you watch it, and there is always that one thing that ends up happening and you're like okay, is this like something that they actually predicted? Because that's also read to the masses, and I see that this thing has like 20 000 likes. So is that just coincidence or did you actually predict this? Because what do they say? It's always like um, like a mass gathering or some shit. Oh, they call it a collective reading, but then it's always funny too, because then they always validate it with something like oh, you'll know if this message is meant for you if a child looks at you, and it's always some sort of love reading. So it's like alright, calm down there, aphrodite, I go to church quite often, and the amount of kids that are always looking back at you Like, alright, pal, were you my sign, were you the confirmation that this random person's message was correct? And then, for all the people who fucking love that shit, they're all just like some of the characteristics are actually true about the person, because it's all about the characteristics that the sign represents. So, alright, go ahead.
Speaker 1:What's a Pisces characteristics? And they're like that you're creative, that you're empathetic and that you're emotional, like, okay, like thousands of other non-Pisces could also be labeled as those things, and um, so I don't know how much truth there is to that, because it's also like, dude, have you met dogs? Like dogs are empathetic and emotional. Does that mean that every dog in the world is a fucking pisces? Like you ever meet a golden retriever or a labrador? Like, dude, my sister has a golden retriever. That thing will literally pout I'm not even joking like, if you don't pet it or something, when it wants to be pet, it will literally go. It'll sit in another room away from you and it'll freaking sulk. Give me a break. So is that dog a pisces? Was it born in february? I don't know, dude, even if you're thinking about it as an animal, just, not even dogs, but, like anything, can be an emotional support animal. So does that mean that every animal in the world is also a fucking pisces? I, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Make it make sense to me because, honestly, like women, will literally choose anything based on a sign, but any sign that a toxic male, and they run into that person's arms like they're Forrest Gump running home Like make it, make fucking sense, guys. And it's funny because when we were on the date, she actually told me that she listened to this podcast and I was like there's no way that you actually enjoy this thing. And she goes no, I do listen to it and I actually enjoy how blunt you are. Because she also told me that she's in social work and she does counseling and the people that she works with are autistic and stuff. And she'll text me and say, yeah, the honesty and the bluntness is kind of refreshing. Now I'm just sitting here thinking to myself girl, what are you trying to tell me here? Do I have a touch of the tism? I don't know. I feel like everybody may be a little bit autistic, but we all just vary on our level of severity of it, right? Like I don't know.
Speaker 1:People say it's because you don't want to make eye contact with somebody for a prolonged period of time. But like, dude, I don't know To me, if you're staring at somebody and making eye contact for a prolonged period of time, you're either in love with the person or you're a fucking psycho and there is no in between. Like who the fuck just stares at somebody and says nothing for however long the fuck just stares at somebody and says nothing for however long. Like, even when you're giving a person a hug, there's a certain level of contact that makes the hug okay, like anything more than like a five second hug. I'm just like, dude, get the fuck off of me. What are you doing here? Unless you're holding somebody for warmth or because you love them, I don't know. I'm just talking shit, dude. I got nothing.
Speaker 1:It is now past 3 am and I'm literally running on fumes and I'm sorry that this was a day late, but this one also might be a little bit of a shorter episode because of the fact that I'm also just fucking exhausted. So here we are, but what the hell else am I going to talk about? So, oh, I know what I can do. I actually got a write-in woohoo um from meg on tuesday. I mentioned how, if anybody had a story about their shrooms experience that they should write in, and she wrote in with the subject line mushrooms. She goes on to say I haven't had mushrooms yet, but it is on my list of psychedelics that I want to try.
Speaker 1:However, by complete accident, I messed up my sister's mushroom trip without knowing she had taken mushrooms. It happened a few years ago. I needed to get a hold of her for whatever reason at the time and when she answered the phone she was in in complete panic. All right, what the hell did you say? She yelled at me and then hung up on me on the phone. Okay, then I get a call later from my mother asking me if I knew what was wrong with my sister. She, her name, but I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 1:Apparently, after my sister hung up on me, she had a full-blown panic attack, to the point that she drove to my mother's house. She drove to your mother's house on shrooms. Is this chick crazy? I can only imagine the amount of swerving that happened because of the shit that she thought she saw that wasn't actually there. So, anyways, hang on. Where did I go here? Um, she drove to my mother's house, had a full-blown meltdown in front of my mother. Oh my god, could you imagine?
Speaker 1:After she sobered up, she had to explain to her mother the events that led to her meltdown, and I guess it was because of the ringtone that she had of when I called what the hell was the ringtone? Was it the theme song of Darth Vader, like maybe your sister's, like me? And when a family member calls, they have the intro to Welcome to the Jungle. And she just got super amped and she was just like I. I don't even know what you could. I've never done shroom, so I have no idea what she could have done or what she could have seen. But it's like you're in the jungle, baby, you're gonna die. Yes, I fucking am in the jungle and I am gonna die. I have no fucking clue.
Speaker 1:After she sobered up, she had to explain to her mother the events that led up to her meltdown. Oh, my god, I wasn't there for that conversation, but I wish I was. I can only imagine from my mother's point of view seeing her daughter coming into her room hysterically crying, thinking the world is ending. Well, yeah, because maybe she didn't want to talk to you, and way to go for ruining her trip. Every time somebody brings up mushrooms my sister always brings this up.
Speaker 1:You can use my name if you want, alright, well, thanks, meg for the write-in, but I gotta say this is not a ringing endorsement for me to ever want to try shrooms. And also, I just gotta ask you this question After seeing your sister in a full-blown panic attack based on a freaking ringtone, why in the hell would you want to try shrooms, like I don't know? Seeing your family member on shrooms having a total meltdown, that wouldn't also make me want to be like you know what. That's something I want to try, and I also got to say this was just kind of depressing in general, like I got to be honest here. The story is not the greatest. No offense to Meg, but I thought this was going to be a little bit more funny. Sorry, buddy. Yeah, I mean, guys, keep them coming.
Speaker 1:I really do want to hear some of your acid trips. I want to know from the sister's perspective what she saw, to know From the sister's perspective what she saw and what it was that actually set her off. What was that ringtone? That's what I really want to know. What the fuck was she seeing?
Speaker 1:Alright, guys, it is a little bit of a shorter episode. I owe you guys two and a half minutes here, but I am exhausted and I do need to go to bed. So, with that said, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Please continue to share, like, subscribe, comment rate. Do whatever it is that you guys are doing to help boost this thing. I really do appreciate it. We're past 50 episodes. I hope to do another 50 and we will go from there. But I hope you guys all have a great weekend. Don't take your fucking shrooms. I just really don't think it's worth it and I will go from there. But I hope you guys all have a great weekend. Don't take your fucking shrooms. I just really don't think it's worth it and I will see you next time.
