The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast. "LNBE" stands for "Literally Nothing, But Everything" and the goal is to touch on what his thoughts and opinions are…just like every other podcast...
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 47 - Nothing but Digital Courting and Thanksgiving Tidbits
Ever wondered what happens when your best party trick becomes a dating app fiasco? Join me, Mike Rispoli, as I recount an amusing story involving the iconic Dirty Dancing lift that took a surprising turn in the world of online dating. Together, we navigate through the unwritten rules of dating app etiquette, and you get to decide if reactions to digital interactions are genuinely valid or just plain overthinking. From deciphering the chemistry of a one-night stand to the digital dance of interpreting intentions, this episode promises a blend of humor and relatable insight into the quirky side of modern romance.
Switching gears, we shine a spotlight on the stereotypes that haunt dating app profiles. What's with all those mirror selfies? With a mix of humor and honesty, I challenge societal beauty standards and discuss why health and self-awareness should take center stage. The conversation isn't just about aesthetics; it's about sparking thoughtful dialogue on self-presentation and cultural shifts. To wrap things up, I dish out some light-hearted Thanksgiving advice to keep your family gatherings smooth and enjoyable. Whether you’re swiping through dating apps or prepping the turkey, this episode is your perfect companion for a laugh and a think.
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com and don't forget to follow me on Insta and TikTok @thelnbepod.
yo, what's going on everybody? Welcome back to The LNBE Podcast where LNBE stands for literally nothing but everything. I'm mike rispoli and I know what you guys are thinking. Mike, what happened to tuesday's episode? Well, I'm gonna just come out and be honest being unemployed, I totally forgot what day it was. I usually record Tuesday's episode on a Sunday or a Monday, but I got busy just watching some of the games on Sunday and then I just totally forgot that it was Monday. So I am sorry about that, but also I figured, with Thanksgiving coming up, I probably wasn't going to be able to put out a Friday episode, just because I'm traveling and stuff like that. So I also figure, eh, let's try something new, let's put something out there in the middle of the week. So Wednesday it is.
Mike:But, as per usual, I just want to give everybody a huge thank you, not even for the fact that it's Thanksgiving. I mean, I'm thankful for all of you guys who listen to this podcast, but also for everybody who continues to rate and comment to help boost this thing, or giving me activity on my non-existent socials @theLNBEPod, on TikTok and Insta, or if you're one of the people who wrote in and if you guys do want to write in, please feel free to email me at lnbemedia@ gmail. com. But, mike, you mentioned that you were watching football on Sunday. Are you going to talk about football? Eh, if I get to that, we'll get to it at the end. But also last week I mentioned that I'm back on dating apps and for right now I'ma just complain. Oh, mikey, bitch boy this week. I know, I know it's Thanksgiving. What do I have to be annoyed about? I should be giving thanks. But even though it's Thanksgiving, the only thing I'm stuffing is this fork into my mouth. I just cannot seem to catch a friggin' break.
Mike:Rules for men Women just constantly keep coming out with new rules for men. They can have a constitution-sized document of icks that women just make up day by day. It's like insurance. They see one small thing not accounted for and by the time you come around, that new policy is in play. I don't know. Here's what happened.
Mike:So my profile has a video of me doing the dirty dancing lift at a bar. The song came on. This woman that we're friendly with was like OMG, let's do the lift. So, like she sprints at me, I lift her up and then we hug it out One because it was fun and two because we were both happy that I didn't drop her. So this chick reaches out to me through one of these dating apps and she goes.
Mike:You know, I was really distracted by the woman hugging you probably not the best choice to put on your profile. Why would I want to see a video of a guy? I'm potentially interested in being touchy-feely with another woman and like, to a degree I can kind of see her point. But, number one, she has no clue who the woman is or what the backstory is. I'm not dating you and you're already jealous. Plus, the prompt I put is because this was on hinge. I'm just going to come out and say it.
Mike:The prompt that I put was that one dance move that I nailed, because I don't dance for shit. That's not something that I do and I just thought it was a fun little video and honestly I'm thinking I should post it on my Insta or something. So you guys know what I'm talking about. But my question is who do you think is in the wrong here? Is she valid or is she just looking for something to be mad about? Like I can't help that. I'm just so perfect and that's all you got me on.
Mike:I mean, imagine if that video was done with, like, my cousin or something and she had no idea. I don't know, though, that would actually be a little weird. Like even on America's Got Talent or something, you see those young kids who are siblings dancing and it's kind of cute when they're like seven or eight, but how's that going to look when they're 20? Like one of you guys got to embark on a solo career. Is the touching and the gripping with dancing sweet home, alabama, y'all roll tide, I don't know.
Mike:I don't know what it's like on the female side of dating apps, but I feel like it's probably about a 40 60 split. I don't know, maybe it's more of like a 30-70. I don't know, but I feel like it's a split of women who want to use dating apps for the intended purposes of the dating app, whether that means it's her finding a partner for a night or for a partner that lasts multiple nights. Hey well, it was gonna be a night, but I don't know, he's just really special. Hey well, it was gonna be a night, but I don't know, he's just really special.
Mike:I'ma just say this, if you hear I don't know, we just had so much chemistry after a one night stand. It just means that that one person is keeping the other around just for that reason. But anybody who is just like after a one night stand you have so much chemistry with with what sexual chemistry you don't know the freaking person that you were sitting next to what, you're just playing 20 questions and you know a lot about this person enough where you're just like okay, this is going to be the one from one night. No, absolutely not. You like the sex, you felt comfortable with that person and you're just like okay, let's just ride this out and see how long it goes, although I will say that relationship, if that is the case, is now destined for failure, because if it goes past that awkward stage of, well, we've been like, kind of like messing around for a while, but now like I don't know what we are, so we decided that because the sex is good, we're just like together now, then that's not really a good philosophy to have, because at that point, sex is the only thing keeping you in the game. Your red flag blinders are just 100%, fully activated.
Mike:I've been in these situations too, where it's just like you're with the person because of that one aspect. So you're willing to let other things go because you enjoy what you currently have and you don't want to try and find that with somebody else because now this person is comfortable. But the real question is, are you really comfortable? Are you, can you tell them that I don't know what's something that's really annoying about somebody? Oh, all right, I got one Breakfast the next morning. If you really did enjoy the person but say they chew too loudly, is that something that you're going to let go? Or is that something that you're just going to be like okay, like I don't know if this is somebody that I actually want to deal with, because that's an annoying habit and right off the rip, because you've already established this quote unquote relationship that's semi existent, semi non existent, because you're pining over lust rather than actual love, that you're willing to automatically just say to the person that they're annoying the hell out of you. No, because you're hoping that you can get what you had the previous night and it's the only thing keeping the relationship alive. There's a reason. After a month or two. If that is the case, well, it finally dawns on you. Hey, this person's voice is actually really annoying.
Mike:Now for the ones that don't use dating apps for their intended purpose. I feel like it truly is just a matter of thirst traps, and I think that this can go both ways, on either side of the aisle, whether you're a man or a woman. But because I'm only swiping on women, I only know the perspective that I have, so just bear with me on this one. But at the end of the day here I mean, men are men, hot women, equal alike. As much as women want to say, don't objectify us. At the same time, we aren't the ones telling you to pose with your tits out, do an OnlyFan and God knows what, calling yourself an influencer, what? Just because your following is in the thousands, but in reality, the only thing that you've influenced is the sale of Viagra. I don't know. I just feel like that's where the double-edged sword of feminism comes, because it's just like don't objectify us, don't do this, don't do X, y, z. But then it's like you guys go out and you make money selling your bodies. So I don't know, am I in the wrong here? Somebody please write in? Let me know if you think I'm wrong.
Mike:But you know, earlier on this pod I can't remember when, but it was when I first started, I went off on due to use fish photos because that's just what the male stereotype is for a dating app right, like the guy just poses with the fish that he just caught. But there's something that women do that I think is borderline on par, and I just gotta say I am just so sick and tired of seeing the mirror selfie in the club or the restaurant bathroom. Now, I understand you are the view, and a dirty club bathroom can never take away your sparkle because God knows you caked it on with the body glitter. Hey, you know what. What you see is what you get, and my life is in the toilet right now. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha.
Mike:Or, if you're like Hispanic cha, I don't know, is this the new debate, though? Like, are the male fish photos the equivalent to the female bathroom photos? On dating apps, I'd have to venture, just in volume, that the fish photos probably take first place. Just in volume, that the fish photos probably take first place. Oh, oh no. The real question is this Are there just as many Only headshot photos that women take as there are like guys with fish photos? Because, women, you think you're slick, with a beautiful face, but now, all of a sudden, when we meet up, I'm the bad guy, because I'm just like damn girl. I thought Butterball was just the name of a turkey. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Mike:Oh, what a way to start off the holiday season with everyone hating me. And that's okay, though I can take a little heat. I don't know, I could be coming across as totally ignorant and stupid right now, or, you know, maybe not everybody's gonna hate me, but at least the fatties will avoid me. Oh, he's such a dick, I know, though, get mad at me all you want. I'm not actually mad at anyone, I'm honestly just mad at the situation. Oh well, mike, what's the sitch? No joke.
Mike:One time I saw this girl had on her profile if you're shorter than 6'3", don't even bother, all right, well, first off, don't tell me who I can and can't swipe on it's Thanksgiving this week. Off, don't tell me who I can and can't swipe on it's Thanksgiving this week. Quite honestly, you should be the one thanking me for giving you the swipe. But also, can you just imagine if I'd said something like that? I mean, I know I low-key already, kind of did, but like if I put on my dating profile hey, anyone above 200 pounds need not apply, like I would get so much shit for that. But can I just say, ladies, you get pissed off at some dude who's 5'11" but on their profile claims they're six foot. Meanwhile, when I get to the restaurant and it's a game time decision, I know she's too big to ride this ride, if you know what I'm saying.
Mike:Look, I used to be fat. I really don't care what anybody says about this. If I'm being mean, I'm really not, because I'll extend an olive branch. If you're happy and you think that you look sexy, looking like baby Shamu, man or woman, then have at it. But I remember how I felt, both physically and mentally, when I was overweight, and I didn't like what I saw. Nor did I like how I felt.
Mike:And I understand. I understand some people might have like medical complications where maybe they have a thyroid issue or maybe they're taking medication or even, I know, birth control can cause weight issues. So I understand that there are outside contributing factors that can cause somebody to like gain weight. But at the same point, it's also important to know what's causing that, so you know how to maintain it. I don't even think this is a my body, my choice issue, because at the end of the day, my choice issue, because at the end of the day, it's also a matter of promoting and being a healthy person and you could eat the cleanest that you can. But also, if you're over indulging on that stuff, you're gonna gain weight because those excess calories have nowhere to go. Like you can eat a high protein rich diet, but that just ends up turning to fat, because if you're not expending that nutritional source in the way that it's meant to be utilized, it's just going to ultimately store in your body with nowhere to go. And I don't know.
Mike:I really don't appreciate the fact that being super overweight, like somebody like lizzo, is now this new quote-unquote norm and we all have to accept that as the new like modern beauty standard. Like, honestly, are there any fat guys that are on the cover of GQ magazine or something Like? Did anybody in their right mind ever consider somebody like Chris Farley to be a sex symbol? I mean, rich people didn't want to be fat, so bad that they found a use for Ozempic as an alternative to its intended use, which is for diabetes. I mean, I think it's for diabetes, but honestly, hell, if I actually know what its intended use is for. I'm not a doctor, don't friggin listen to me. But okay, just hear me out.
Mike:If you're so fat that you can't even reach around far enough to wipe your own ass, I think that's time when you got to admit to yourself. Hey, I might have a little bit of a problem and believe me what I'm saying, that I am not trying to come across as fat phobic. I'm literally just speaking my mind on this new cultural issue where we all just think it's totally okay and healthy to be at an unhealthy weight. Like, I truthfully don't understand how that's a trend that everybody seems to be getting on board with. But, as I've said previously, if you're very happy with how you look, then you do you. You be who you want to be, that's totally fine.
Mike:And I know, I know what one of the arguments that counteract me is. Oh, well, back in the day, fatness was attractive. Yeah, because that was the indicator that that person lived in abundance. It wasn't due to attractiveness, it was due to necessity. Hey, go to the fat one. They got the food, that's all that was. It was literally just a matter of survival at that point. Well, I don't know, just to bring this kind of back home.
Mike:Here's where I think that whole double standard argument of the oh well, he's too short for me versus the she's too fat for me thing, I think, kind of comes into play, because you cannot change height without some form of physical surgery. But, mrs butterworth, over there, no one's telling you every now and then that you can't eat an apple that's not candied. Take a trip to the gym instead of the fridge every once in a while. It might do you some good. But this chick who wanted nobody below the height of 6'3" she's looking for a dude in the top 2-3% of height alone. And honey, I hate to break it to you, but you ain't even in the 20 to 30 percent of looks alone fucking delusional. And why? And look, I am not saying that it is all women on dating apps who are like this. I am strictly referring to this one person. So she's my generalization product of all of this. But it's women like that who are just so picky.
Mike:Oh well, mike, you're kind of doing the same thing by saying that you wouldn't want to go out with a fat person. That is not the case at all. I never said I wouldn't, I just said it's not my preference. I just personally don't want to go out with somebody who's overweight, because I'm sorry I kind of mentioned it earlier on this episode I wasn't even necessarily attracted to myself when I was fat. That's not even me putting a double standard. That's also me being like, hey, this is just what I'm about. And it's just so funny because I'm saying all this shit and we got Thanksgiving coming up and I don't know a single person who's not going to fly off the handle when it comes to food, because that is what Thanksgiving is for. Gluttony is a deadly sin. Meanwhile, everyone turns their eye on that one and, as a former fat guy, I think that's actually why I love Thanksgiving so much, because it's just the one day that I don't have to hide myself and I can just go nuts. It's like being an alcoholic in college. It's actually not frowned upon, it's encouraged. Dude, being on Thanksgiving is like the same exact scenario as a frat house, but with food. Just swap out the terminology of bro. There's no way you're going to rip all those shots with bro. There's no way you're going to eat all that pie. And what's your reaction to both? Watch me, but I don't know All these women not going out with men due to their certain height, which, yes, I understand that's also a preference.
Mike:But in this case it's because they quote unquote know what they want and they're not settling for anything less. Yet get mad at men for saying that they won't wanna go out with somebody who weighs a certain amount. Because these women know that there is always an opportunity, there is always another swipe and the guy should just be thankful that she even gave him the time of day. But you know what I hate to say it? I can't even say that I blame the thought process, because, when it comes to dating apps, I can't even say that I blame the thought process. Because, when it comes to dating apps, I feel like the pool is so skewed because I think more men tend to use them. So women just have the pick of the litter, so why aren't they allowed to be picky? So I totally get it. But I also love when the chick on bumble starts to combo and they just say hey.
Mike:Meanwhile, if I were to just say hey, it's not good enough and on to the next, actually no, even better than that, because if you're like me, you got multiple dating apps because you're trying to widen your pool. But I love it when you match on one app, the conversation goes nowhere on that app. But then all of a sudden, you're swiping through another app and that same chick now matches with you on that app and it's like oh great, now I get to get rejected twice. And it's funny because everything that women want the generic profile, I guess you would say is women just want somebody to make them laugh, explore new things. Well, how about me? I'm a new thing that you can explore, make you laugh Like, explore me. Like.
Mike:I love that there's always the prompt to with these pick me chicks where it's like dating me is like winning the lotto. Oh, really, you're so perfect that it's going to change my life. You're so perfect, ok, well, if you're so perfect, then why are you on here, friggin bunch of egomaniacs? The fact that a lot of the women literally they won't even have anything in their bio except for their Instagram handle, and it's like why, ladies, you gotta write in and let me know if you're seeing that shit on the male side too. Like are men just doing that or is that strictly just something that I'm seeing across dating apps with women? But like whether it's a guy doing that or a woman, like what's your game plan? Are you literally just trying to gain more of a following? But, like, whether it's a guy doing that or a woman, like, what's your game plan? Are you literally just trying to gain more of a following? That's why I really think I said it last week, I'm going to say it again this week I really think that dating apps have now just become this new form of a popularity contest.
Mike:It truly is just a new social media platform and it's not necessarily just like trying to connect with people. It's just a matter of having a bragging right, of just being like oh my god, this person liked me, oh my god, this person liked me. I don't know if it's popularity, if that's even the right word for it, or maybe it's just clout, maybe it's just a matter of people just liking the attention that it brings. I don't know. But quite honestly, there's a lot of shit that I don't know, like how the fuck the chiefs almost lost to the friggin panthers. Dude, I don't care what anybody says. The chiefs are frauds, oh my god.
Mike:But with that said, I hope everybody has a very happy and healthy thanksgiving. Don't get too crazy. Don't start any fights with your uncles. To everybody listening to the LNBE Podcast. Can you all just promise me that you're all gonna have a cordial thanksgiving? Just everybody, eat your turkey, watch your football, and shut the fuck up. All right guys. I hope you all have a fantastic thanksgiving. I will catch up with you next week. Thank you, thank you.
