The LNBE Podcast
Mike Rispoli presents: The LNBE Podcast. "LNBE" stands for "Literally Nothing, But Everything" and the goal is to touch on what his thoughts and opinions are…just like every other podcast...
The LNBE Podcast
Episode 34 - Nothing but Cheerleaders, Weekend Activities, and NFL Outrage
What if the world of professional cheerleading shared more similarities with corporate America than you ever imagined? Join me, as I kick off this episode of the LNBE podcast inspired by the electric energy of ACDC's "Thunderstruck." I reveal my surprising obsession with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders show on Netflix, drawing striking parallels between their intense selection process and the ruthless dynamics of corporate life. Reflecting on my six-month journey into podcasting, I share heartfelt gratitude for the unwavering support from my listeners, friends, and family, and compare my growth to Tom Brady's improvement at broadcasting. While I briefly touch on political debates, I avoid divisive topics.
Brace yourself for a passionate rant as I dissect the highs and lows of the latest NFL games and decisions. My frustration boils over as I critique offensive struggles, lament poor survivor pool choices, and express disappointment in the Jaguars' gameplay and Trevor Lawrence's performance. I take a hard stance on the NFL's decision to let Deshaun Watson continue playing despite ongoing allegations, drawing sharp contrasts to the severe penalties handed out during Deflategate. We also break down shocking game outcomes, like the Raiders' triumph over the Ravens and the Saints' unexpected win against the Cowboys. I share my unfiltered thoughts so tune in for a rollercoaster of emotions and insights!
If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com
Hey, what's going on, everybody, and welcome back to the LNBE podcast, where LNBE stands for literally nothing but everything. I'm Mike Raspoli and let's get into this bitch, and I have my notes this week, thank god, so hopefully I can be like AC/DC and bring the thunder. But you guys should never go into these thinking that I'm gonna. Oh, but completely off topic, thinking thunderstruck and reminded me of this. Has anybody checked out that dallas cowboys cheerleaders think on netflix? Now you might be thinking, oh, why the fuck would you watch that? Well, my philosophy was it's hot chicks in a hot uniform, so how? How can I not watch this? And I ended up getting totally sucked into it because I actually did not realize that the process that those cheerleaders have to go through is super cutthroat.
Speaker 1:I can't remember how many people it starts out with. I think it starts out with like a hundred and then they dwindle it down to like 30 or something crazy, 32 or something like that. But what's crazy is, even if you made the team the previous years, you still have to try out, which I mean that makes sense. Everybody should still have to try out. But just because you made the team one year doesn't guarantee you a spot, so there's literally always somebody else who could take your place. I mean, it's like corporate America for football and it just truly proves that the NFL truly is just a fucking business at the end of the day. But I also think there's a great moral to that, which is like you're just not always going to be handed something Like no matter what. Even if you've been in this position before, you're still going to have to work for it. So I think there's a great philosophy to that. See, boomers, we're not always handed everything. In life we still got to work for shit.
Speaker 1:But as the show progresses, it kind of goes into these girls personal lives and it shows who they're dating or who they're married to and all this stuff. And I'm looking at some of these doofuses that these hot ass women are married to or dating and I'm just like what the fuck am I doing wrong here? I mean, obviously they're also not going to showcase the dickheads who these women are married to or dating. So it does prove that nice guys don't always finish last. And you know what? The truly nice ones, even if they are the first ones to finish, they're not the last one. I mean the truly nice ones we put in some overtime.
Speaker 1:Ladies, if you're picking up what I'm putting down here, all right, but let's actually kind of get into what I initially wanted to start out with. I'm just over six months into podcasting, because I believe I started this in late January and I just want to say to everybody who tunes in and listens I really do appreciate every single one of you. I mean, without you guys, this show would all go to total waste and with all of your, this thing will just continue to grow and the support of listening, sharing and doing whatever you guys can to truly help it just really does mean so much. So I just really hope that you guys understand that and hopefully you also think that it's a little bit stronger now than it was six months ago. I mean, trust me, I know my fault In those early apps I truly had no idea what to say.
Speaker 1:Part of it was I wasn't really in a good place and I initially started doing this all for the wrong reasons and I think I just really gave a really bad first impression. So, to everybody who stuck around, and even to those who have helped me out with my friends and family, like I really do appreciate all of the love and support that everybody's given me on this thing and hopefully you guys have also seen me progress as the show has progressed. But oh my god, I mean as much as like these still might be a little bit cringe. I can't even bring myself to listen to those first 10 episodes because, holy shit, those things are more painful than getting hit in the nuts. I'm sure that's how brady feels about his first week as a broadcaster, but I actually listened to him this week.
Speaker 1:He did the Dallas game again and I gotta say the improvement that that guy gave. I mean, is there nothing that that guy just can't do? It's taken me what six months to get somewhat comfortable at podcasting. Meanwhile it took that guy only one week to figure out how to broadcast. It's unbelievable how fast that dude's able to turn shit around. He was actually doing exactly what I told him to do last week.
Speaker 1:Not that I think he listened to this freaking thing. Nobody listens to this. I see my download stats. I'm a digital marketer by day. I'm always looking at my analytics and I know I know a lot of that is also my fault. I could do a much better job at posting on my social media, but as as much as I want to rely on you guys, I also got to rely on myself here. So let's take one for the team and actually admit to my own wrongdoings, which is something that I don't think our politicians can do.
Speaker 1:Speaking of, didn't anybody watch the debates? But it really wasn't even a debate. It was more of like a battling of the bumbling buffoons. Yeah, I watched some of it, but one thing I'm not going to do is actually talk about it because, like you guys, I myself am just exhausted with our current political climate. And early on in this podcast I actually did talk politics to all of you guys who have just recently kind of joined here, and if we want to talk about faults, I think that was definitely one of them, but it's just way too divisive and I think, based based on the prior episodes, everybody kind of knows where I stand. So it's kind of hard not to show your bias and honestly, like who am I to spread my opinion and do what swayed you. There's absolutely no point and if we are going to be doing a reflection episode, I initially wanted this podcast to be something where people would listen.
Speaker 1:They could have a little fun hearing me tell my shitty jokes, talking about stuff that's really just mundane and they wouldn't be super stressed out at the end of it. And I think that was one of the main issues where, talking politics I mean, everybody already knows who they're going to vote for there really was no point in having this stupid debate and, I'll be honest, the only reason I even watched it was because I wanted to know whatever memes came out from it, what the context was. But, honestly, the only thing I even remember was when kamala turned to trump and just goes you know, putin's gonna eat you for lunch and trump claps back yeah well, you met with him and then three days later he started a war. And this whole thing just made me think that now american politics is no different than how you would fight with your sibling when you were a toddler, like you know how toddler siblings fight. Like you did it. No, you did it, mom. Like it's just so exhausting. All I know is one candidate flip-flops more than a fish out of water and the other one's just an egomaniac. And if I'm tired of it, I know you guys are tired of it. So hopefully this place is just more of an escape for everybody.
Speaker 1:The one thing that I will mention, though, is I was very vocal about trying to vote for RFK, but he ended up doing what Luke Skywalker didn't, and he joined the dark side. Shout out to Darth Vader Hashtag RIP to James Earl Jones. And now I really just don't know who I'm even going to vote for. I mean, I'm definitely still going to vote, because I do think that it's just a true right that we have as American citizens, considering that it really is something that not every person in every country has, so I think everybody should vote. You should do your due diligence and practice the right that you have, but I really don't want to have to vote in this election cycle. How funny would it be if I actually put in my left nut and then the vote counters found it and they had to do a rock paper scissors To see which pile to put it under.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, everything is just going to shit. You know, Mike, you said you weren't going to talk about politics. Now here you are. You've been talking about politics for like five minutes. All right, all right, I'm sorry, let's deviate here. I hope you guys all had a fantastic weekend. I don't know about where you guys live, but here in Connecticut the weather's been beautiful, so I hope you guys have been enjoying the beautiful remaining last few weeks of summer that we're going to have.
Speaker 1:But over the weekend I hung out with my sister and her fiance. We went to a beer garden where they had live music and the band was awesome. I mean, I will say the lead singer 100 carried the band, but, um, they were really good. They played a lot of classic stuff, just mainly rock stuff. So I was in heaven because that's my forte, but also because they were more of a classic rock group. There was a lot of people who were the older generation and I don't mean like old, old, but definitely people like my parents, age like in their 50s, 60s. Some people were in their 70s and it was so funny because they played a Blink-182 song and the guy just goes all right, I want everybody to jump. I'm looking around. I'm like dude, like, look at your crowd. I don't think anybody's jumping. Three jumps in. You're all of a sudden going to hear that guy from Spongebob "my leg.
Speaker 1:Oh, but speaking of beer so I don't know if it was last week or two weeks ago I was talking about how I wish Athletic came out with an Oktoberfest and my buddy actually sent me a photo that they actually did. And I was kind of upset that the beer garden didn't have the Oktoberfest Athletic because I was really curious to try it. So I got to find out where I could find this stuff. My buddy said that I could find it anywhere. So next time I go to a store or something I'm gonna have to look for it. Maybe if I find it I can actually try it on here. Let you guys know how I think it is. But I will say I think it's kind of funny that I talked shit about Brady Brady improved. I talked shit about the athletic brewing company not having an Oktoberfest. And they have one. So are people like listening to this and nobody's telling me, oh my god.
Speaker 1:But while we were at the beer garden. So I got a funny story and I know what you're thinking. I'll be the judge of that, but hopefully you do find it funny. So just to give you some context as to why this happened. So I initially drove up to my sister's and her fiance's place because they live closer to where the beer garden was, so I parked at their place and then we took her car. So in the parking lot there was really not a lot of spots, so we ended up having to like kind of parallel park next to a wall and the passenger side door is next to the wall. Now my sister only had one drink. I was drinking my athletics, so we were both fine. My sister's fiancee, on the other hand, was like I'm gonna have a little bit of fun. So he was like drinking I don't know what the fucking percentage was of these beers and he ended up biting just a little bit more than he could chew.
Speaker 1:So once the band wraps up their set list, we end up walking back to the car and my sister and I get there first she's in the driver's seat and I'm in the back seat, and before she could even roll down her window to say hey, I'm gonna get out this spot because it's fucking tighter than a sideways butt plug, the fiance just runs over like he's missing a train and, no holds barred, just swings open this door and flam, just smacks it right against the wall and it was just like what the fuck? So we ended up checking it out when we got back to her place and it just left two little chips like right on the edge of where the door would close. It sounded way worse than the car, but honestly her car doors had so many chips and shit on it it honestly just added to the aesthetic. So my saturday was actually like really nice and chill. But then everything went to shit on sunday.
Speaker 1:So sunday, I was actually scheduled to have a tattoo appointment. Now, keep in mind I scheduled this appointment a month ago and my appointment was at noon. So I get there at noon and I just think that the artist is in the back. Maybe he's finishing someone else up. Like appointments overlap, I totally understand that. So I check in and I'm sitting there for an hour and all of a sudden I get a message from the artist after an hour hey man, I'm so sorry I won't be able to see you today. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience and I'm just like dude inconvenience. It wouldn't have been inconvenient if you had told me this maybe two hours ago, that you wouldn't be able to see me. I mean first world problems to the max here. So that was the start of my Sunday. Then I get, get back home. I'm like you know, I'm just gonna sit around and watch football, then my fucking pats lose and a nail biter to the seahawks. I'm like, all right, you know what that sucks, but it's not the end of the world.
Speaker 1:It was also kind of expected. The defense again fucking played great. The offense just loves to settle for fucking field goals. Can you guys just fucking press the issue for once and just throw the damn ball down the fucking field? Stop with the checkdowns. And, honestly, the offensive line does need a little bit of work, because Brissette got fucking killed on every other play. So, anyways, it doesn't just end there. Stupid me, I should have taken the chargers in my survivor pool, like I said I was going to last week. But no, stupid me. I was like I don't know how I feel about a one o'clock game West Coast team coming to the East Coast. Who knows what could happen.
Speaker 1:So I decided on taking the Jaguars because the fucking Browns looked so anemic last week against Dallas. I thought that was going to be a safe pick, also just considering the fact that the Browns defense just looked like they had no idea what they were doing against Dallas too. So I'm just like okay, trevor Lawrence, let's see what you got. But nope, all of a sudden Deshaun Watson remembered how to fucking football and the Browns defense came to life and they whipped the Jaguars. I mean, it was only a what? Six point game. Then the Jaguars had a chance to possibly win the game because they had like over a minute left and they had to drive down the field, but then the friggin' Browns ended up getting a safety and that ended up fucking me over.
Speaker 1:Now, thank God, the Survivor League that I'm in has a buy-back, but because I'm honestly so upset about the fact that the Jaguars lost against the Browns, I just gotta say I am so friggin' out on Trevor Lawrence. Everybody's talking how great he is. I think the Jaguars even just renamed their stadium after him and I'm like for what? The dude had one good playoff game. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with these NFL teams? You have one good playoff game and that just automatically makes you a savior. Look at the Giants with Danny Dimes. That dude hasn't thrown a fucking dime in years, more like fucking Danny Pennies. That dude sucks. Meanwhile they didn't fucking pay Saquon, and now it looks like from these past couple games that I've seen, saquon's been killing it on the Eagles. Now, granted, the Eagles have a much better O-line, but you're going to fucking not pay your star player on the team, because he's a fucking running back and quarterbacks are just what's the market looking for.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, the NFL really needs to do some readjusting here and, honest to God, the first adjustment that they need to do is they need to fucking get rid of Deshaun Watson. Did anybody see that? He's got new allegations coming up against him? Why, the fuck honestly, did the Browns pay this motherfucker that much money just so he can continue to pay out his civil lawsuits? My god, I've said it before, I'm gonna say it again this fucking guy, the literal Bill Cosby of the NF, fucking L, should not be able to step on a blade of grass in any stadium. What the fuck is wrong with the NFL? Why are they allowing this guy to still fucking play? I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I probably just blew the fuck out of your eardrums, but it just baffles my mind because the whole thing with the deflate gate that got brought to the fucking Supreme Court. But meanwhile this guy only gets an 11-game suspension, no jail time, no jail time, and he's able to fucking play, and now he's got new allegations coming up against him. The National Felons League everybody Congratulations. You fucking assholes, all of you Fuck the Browns dude.
Speaker 1:I think that's the main reason why I'm so mad that I lost in my survivor pool this week. I know I have a backup because I have the little mulligan that I can use, but I think it's just due to the fact that I lost to the fucking Browns, because I hate that team, because I just cannot stand Deshaun Watson, that motherfucker. I want to see that guy. The only orange I want to see that guy in is a fucking jumpsuit. Okay, all right, rant over. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I definitely blew your ears out, but I'm going to try and edit this so it's not nearly as bad. Oh my God, all right, that's a first. That's a first for the pod me fucking screaming into this microphone. All right, but going back, let's get back on track here. So I just had to use my mulligan for week two, which kind of sucks. It was this early in the season. So I do have another chance and I do have a history of running the table, because this same thing happened to me last year Week two, I ended up losing and then I ended up coming in second place Story of my life. So we'll see what happens this year. Too bad, I can't fucking run a table when I go to the casino.
Speaker 1:But I think this was just a very bizarre week for football because all of the teams that should have won all lost. The Raiders ended up beating the friggin Ravens after losing by inches against the Chiefs two weeks ago. The Vikings beat the 49ers after the 49ers completely steamrolled the Jets in week one, the Cowboys got their asses whipped by the Saints and it makes me think, like, are the Saints more legit than we all thought they were? I mean, after how the Cowboys just totally steamrolled the friggin Browns defense, which is ranked the number one in the league, they made the Browns look like they were playing peewee football and the friggin Saints come out of nowhere. Another one that caught me by surprise Even without Jordan Love, the Packers found a way to beat the Colts. So I don't know, man, maybe I'm just off this year.
Speaker 1:So if anybody really does have any suggestions on who I'm going to take week three, all I know is there was one game I was definitely not going to take, and that was the Bengals and Chiefs game. Thank, I was definitely not going to take, and that was the Bengals and Chiefs game. Thank God, I didn't even want to touch that game because that ended up only being a one-point contest. And everybody's talking shit about how the Kansas City Swifties ended up winning that game because of a pass interference call. But you know what? That was a good call. As much as I can't stand the Chiefs and I hate them winning that much, I'm going to admit that was pass interference on that last call to set them up for the field goal and on Pat McAfee's show. He also mentioned that during the play prior a Bengals player had illegal hands to the face on one of the Chiefs players.
Speaker 1:Now the only thing that drives me fucking crazy is that false start thing that that right guard does every fucking play meanwhile. If the opposing team were to do that, it would get fucking called every time. So my thing is I think the nfl has to have something in place where you just need to be consistent. Like mlb umpires, you call a strike. It's got to be consistent, even if it's a ball. Like if it's a ball, nobody's gonna care, as long as you're calling it consistent on both sides. Nfl referees it. I mean my god, you want to make it look like you got money on a game. That's a fucking way to do it by making a blatant call on one team and not the other.
Speaker 1:There was actually something similar that happened in the Pats game. I can't remember what down it was or what the play was, but there was a play with Jones and he was looking at the ball. They call pass interference. Then the following play, the similar thing happened and there was no pass interference. So it's like what makes one different than the other? So I don't know. That is my one true critique with the NFL. If you're going to make a fucking call, make it consistent on both sides of the ball. I don't give a fuck what the team is, and that's the main reason why people cannot stand the Chiefs, and it's because, at the end of the day, they're the ones that are going to get the call, because they're the winners of the league right now and they're what's getting viewership. Look at what taylor swift has done just by dating travis kelsey. Oh my god.
Speaker 1:Wait, speaking of all this shit, what's the deal with that breakup contract? Is that legit? Like aren't they supposed to break up next week? I would love to see what happens with that. And if they do break up, what happens? Does the nfl then lose all their viewership. There's no way the n NFL would allow for this to happen. If anything, they would have to break up, like come February 10th or something, once the NFL season is over. There's no way Roger Goodell is willingly going to lose like 3 million viewers just from this breakup Like I. Highly doubt that that was real but, like Cyndi Lauper, only time will tell. And speaking of time will tell.
Speaker 1:Something else I want to touch upon is the whole to a situation. Holy shit, if any doctor clears that motherfucker to play, we're all of a sudden gonna be seeing Sloth from the Goonies come out and play football. Hey, you guys, let's call Z 48 24. Dibba, dibba, dibba, like good Lord. There's no way this dude should be putting on pads for the rest of the year.
Speaker 1:The fact that he even played after that really horrible concussion two years ago against the Bengals is wild. That dude's brain, oh my god. The amount of horrible concussions and the worst part was the hit that he suffered on Thursday wasn't even that bad, to be honest. He should have just slid it. Honestly looked like. I mean, his helmet just made basic contact with the dude's arm. So now it's at a point where any sort of contact with his head because from what I understand, I've never had a concussion.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, for those who will listen to this podcast, if I did have a concussion you might be saying, oh well, that explains a lot. But from what I do know is, once you get one, it's very easy to get another. So I mean, at what point does it come where? It's just like somebody could just flick him on the back of the head and all of a sudden he's just like out. But honestly, I really do hope that the guy is okay because at the end of the day, that's all that matters. But his health really needs to be a priority and I think the best thing for his health truly is the fact that he does not fucking suit up again for another football game. This dude already got his bag. He got paid. However much he's getting paid, he's on his second contract. He got the pretty much going rate. He's kind of a mid-quarterback if it wasn't for the fact that he had all these weapons around him anyways.
Speaker 1:So just fucking take the retirement, go be with your family like, save whatever's left of that godforsaken head of yours. And it's actually kind of wild, because I was actually having this conversation with my friend ethan, like a while back, where he goes would you allow your kid to play football? And I said that I would. Now, I never played the sport and it honestly isn't even a matter of me trying to live vicariously through my kid. For me, it's more of a matter of letting my kid figure out what they want to do, what they're good at and, god forbid, football is the one thing that my kid has an outlet for and is the one thing that my kid feels that they're talented in. How would I take that away from my kid? Now, I know the dangers of football. I mean, look at fucking two. We see it on the field every day. Isaiah pacheco, on sunday fucking tore his tibular or something like that. Like, we know the dangers of the sport, but for me to tell my kid, no, you can't do something, even though they could have the potential of being great at it, how could I take that away from them? So I don't know, maybe that's a question.
Speaker 1:Like kids, parents who played, who allowed their kids to play football, like, what would you guys do? Would you tell your? Did you initially tell your kids, no, you can't play? And then they rebelled against you, like, how did you feel when you told, when your kid said that they wanted to play football? Like, I don't know. Knowing what you know now, would you allow your kid to play football, seeing what they might have gone through?
Speaker 1:I'm not a parent like. I don't have any kids, so I don't know the true perspective. I'm just telling you what I'm thinking right now. Maybe once I have a kid hindsight is 2020. I mean, I've been proven to be wrong. Look at Justin Jefferson this year. He's fucking absolutely killing it.
Speaker 1:I said not to take him in your fantasy drafts because Sam Darnold was the one throwing to him, but here he is fucking having a balled out game on Sunday. So I'm probably wrong. I am wrong about a lot of things. So this is why I need your input, guys. This is why I need your input. Feel free to email me at lmbemedia at gmailcom, all right, and with that, I think that does it for me this week. I hope you guys enjoyed what you heard. If you did, please share this with a friend, write me up a review, give me that comment, give me that five-star rating, and also feel free to check me out on my socials. You can find me on instagram and tiktok at the lmve pod. All right, guys. I hope you all have a fantastic week. Thank you for listening and I'll catch up with you next tuesday. Thank you, you.
